Title: Stay
Author: aiyn@writeme.com
Author Page: Ai'yn
Spoilers : Divide and Conquer; The Light (season 4)
Summary: After a mission a woozy Jack asks Daniel about the things he said on the balcony in The Light
Rating: PG
Category: J/D

It was one of those days when your body just begins to shut down. Just little by little. A scrap of energy at a time slowly leeching away until suddenly you don't know how you're suddenly on the floor, staring at the scraped bare spot on your carpet.

It took a quick shake of his head before he could clear away the spots and he was back to staring at the carpet again in the color it should be and...

Feet?

"Jack?"

Looking up, Jack suddenly realized Daniel was very tall. Like VERY tall. Like hovering over, Jolly Green Giant tall, looking damp and puzzled without the "Ho, ho, ho." Although the idea of Daniel wearing nothing but a few leaves covering certain aspects of his body did have an odd appeal.

"Maybe taking that shower wasn't such a good idea, Jack. I think those painkillers are kicking in."

Jack tracked Daniel crouching down. His neck hurt just looking at him. Daniel looked worried. Oh. Bad. Jack didn't like Daniel looking worried. Or sad. Or mad. No, wait. Mad was fine. Daniel had a tendency to get a bit flushed, all hoppy around in angry circles, stuttering as he struggled to get his point across in some coherent pattern. The little dance Daniel did on that weird planet with the naked plant people was kind of cute.

Wait a second.

Cute?!

Whoa.

Not enough of the sleep was making Jacky boy a tad bit horny.

'Ya think?'

"What?" Daniel scrunched up his face, a little wiggle of his nose as he tried to understand the mumbling.

'Damn. Get it straight, O'Neill. Mouth shut, mind open. No thinking out loud.' But before Jack reeled in his thoughts that were floundering about like a caught trout, Jack offered one more mumble hopefully more coherent.

"That mission sucked."

Daniel agreed with a wry smile before it crumbled to a hiss. Already forgotten, the cut at the corner of Daniel's mouth began to bleed again.

"Ouch," Jack grumbled in sympathy. Sitting like that couldn't be good for Daniel's back considering how hard Daniel rolled down that riverbank, Jack tumbling behind him with a horde of Jaffa after their asses. They were mad. Pissed off, fired up, shoot them with everything they got mad. Maybe it was because Jack said something about Apophis wearing pantyhose? Nah.

"Ouch," Daniel echoed. He hesitated before slipping an arm around Jack's shoulders, then with a few grunts, pulled Jack to his feet.

"Hey," Jack blinked at the younger man. Suddenly Daniel was eye level. "You're short again."

"Huh?" Daniel stared at Jack, his brows knitted together. He leaned closer, studying Jack before shaking his head and steering Jack towards the corridor to his bedroom. Oh, long corridor. Bad corridor. Note to self--must make corridor shorter when his back and his knees weren't playing heavy metal in his head.

"Are we there yet?" Jack slurred. He felt oddly elated as he felt Daniel's arm slip around his middle. He wanted to lean in, drink in the warmth from the long hard torso pressing against him. He wanted to, but he shouldn't. No. Last he checked, Daniel was married--well, widowed for a while now. Hell, Jack was married once too! No, no, no drinking Daniel. No! He meant no pressing on--No! Nothing, no how!

Jack wrenched away from Daniel, or tried to, only ending up sending both men slamming into the hallway's wall. Daniel mumbled an apology. For some reason, Daniel looked distressed and hesitated once more before wrapping an arm around Jack's middle. Jack gave up and just concentrated on not letting all of his weight fall on poor Daniel, who was clearly struggling as his own bruises were making themselves known now. So Jack concentrated on walking left and somewhat right and hopefully forward into his bedroom. Concentrate. Yeah, on the walking part, not about how solid and warm Daniel was, or how he could feel smooth skin brushing shyly against his exposed arm as Daniel took his elbow. Jack tried not to dwell on the fact that Daniel had the faint scent of sandlewood and tea from that weird shampoo stuff Carter got him for Christmas. The scent seem to beckon Jack to come hither, come closer and see if that was also nutmeg he smelled. What was the deal with scented soaps anyway? However, Jack didn't mind it on Daniel. No, not at all. Smelled...smelled kinda of nice in fact...

When he realized he was leaning his head against Daniel's, breathing deeply the fresh airy scent of the shower and the shampoo lingering on Daniel, Jack jerked back. Or tried to. His arms and legs decided to take the day off and left only spagetti behind for muscles. The colonel gave a feeble push which was enough for the drained Daniel. They stumbled back, then toppled over the bed Daniel was trying to steer them to, sending them into a tangled grunt.

With a slight bounce, they landed on the bed. Winded, the two stared at Jack's ceiling.

"Well," Jack rasped, chest heaving. He waited for the spots to go away. Wasn't his ceiling supposed to be white? Damn Fraiser and her drug pushing. He'd rather deal with the pain than this precarious seesawing between lucid to downright loco. "That was pathetic," he wheezed, waving his hand feebly in the air. Ah, he thought so. It was a white ceiling with no dancing spots.

"Sorry." Daniel sounded truly remorseful.

Jack barely had enough energy to reach out and ruffle Daniel's damp hair. "Wasn't talking about you. Me. Me pathetic. To the point I think I'll just lie here and wait for the sun to come up." Jack gritted his teeth as he realized he still had his fingers absently touching the drying strands of silk. He pulled back as he rasped, "I'll be fine."

Daniel didn't seem to agree, mutterng something about Jack needing to be more comfortable on the bed. Of course, Jack wasn't going to point out how comfortable he was already with Daniel half on top of him, Daniel's long fingers curling around his shoulder to help him sit up and then back until he was completely on the bed.

Still staring at the ceiling--when did that crack pop in there?--Jack felt Daniel take off his slippers, ignoring his wave as Daniel then tugged and pulled at the blanket until it was yanked out from under Jack.

"Daniel, just grab the guest room and sleep," Jack mumbled. He could already feel his limbs growing heavier and heavier, yet every gentle touch from Daniel as he manuveured Jack around felt as tangible as the blanket Daniel now pulled over his body. As soon as the hand finished smoothing away the covers pulled halfway to his chest, Jack felt an ache for the loss.

"Jack?" Blue, vivid blue, peered down at him. "Maybe I should stay a moment in case you need anything?"

Need? More like want. Jack stared at his own reflection in Daniel's eyes and found himself wanting. Very, very much. "Your eyes are so damn blue."

"Huh?"

"Blue." Jack ran the tip of his tongue across his lips. "Very. When were they that blue?"

"Uh...okay...they're blue. Maybe I should call Janet. Those pills must be--Jack!"

With a pull, Jack had tugged at Daniel's collar. He had wanted a closer look at those eyes. Blue, blue, blue. Suddenly, they were that much closer, Daniel a heavy but surprisingly welcome weight on his chest.

"J-Jack," Daniel whispered. His eyes were huge. "What are you doing?"

"I dunno."

"The pills, Jack. They're making you -"

Jack tentatively wiggled and brushed his hips against Daniel. The younger man went stock still.

"They made that?" Jack slurred. Daniel's words were echoing in him. What was he doing? "That ain't my sidearm, Danny."

"Oh God." Daniel swallowed. "Jack, you're not thinking. Those pills are making you uh..."

"Horny?"

"Um...yeah. I just happen to be here." Daniel tried to get up but Jack wrapped his arm around Daniel's shoulders and pulled him closer. "Jack. Please." Daniel's breath quickened. Daniel looked scared. Jack could see that even in his haze. But not scared as in Jaffa running after them scared. No, Daniel wasn't scared then. It was...after Jack came to on the riverbank, Daniel dripping wet, half out of his mind because apparently Jack swallowed enough of P9H-764 to float. No, Daniel didn't look that scared like before. Scared and sad like...like...

"Daniel...what did you mean back then?" Jack could still remember how cold it was on that balcony.

"What?"

"When you...you know. You said we couldn't get it back. When you said all those things."

"Jack, I told you I don't remember anything about that day. I don't remember saying anything about getting anything back or that it just goes away." Daniel wiggled free from Jack's hold and started to push away from the bed.

"Ah ha." Jack looked smug or at least he thought he did. His face felt numb. Damn drugs. His hands, however, felt achingly empty.

"Ah ha?" Daniel stood there away from Jack, arms around his middle. Blue eyes now dull, staring pensively at Jack.

"I didn't say anything about anything going away."

Daniel swallowed. He looked white. So white, Jack sat up in alarm.

"Daniel?"

"Get some sleep, Jack," Daniel whispered, turning to leave.

"Stay."

Daniel stiffened.

"Stay," Jack repeated more softly.

"You don't know what you're asking."

"I think I do."

"It's the drugs."

"No, Daniel." Jack reached out and pulled at Daniel. Daniel stumbled back a step as Jack curled a hand around the worn cotton shirt Daniel borrowed from Jack. "It's me, Daniel."

Daniel didn't seem to believe him. In fact, he looked miserable, like someone was playing a cruel joke on him. Daniel wouldn't look at Jack.

"Was it me?" Jack whispered. "Did I go away?" Jack paused. "No, don't answer that. I already know it was."

Daniel opened his mouth to argue it but another tug sent Daniel sitting down on the edge of Jack's bed with a thump.

"Jack--"

"I'm sorry," Jack cut him off. "For going away. I thought...it would be the best."

"Why?" Daniel still wouldn't look at him. He didn't try to get up though.

"Because even though I cared for Carter more than I should," Jack paused when he saw Daniel's shoulders rounded. Jack carefully reached out and wrapped his hand around the fist Daniel made over the folds of his shirt. "There was someone else I loved more than I ever should." Before Daniel could answer, Jack pulled with his heavy limbs, wanning strength still managing to pull a startled Daniel back down on top of him.

"Hi," Jack said, smiling crookedly at the wide-eyed Daniel now lying over him.

"Jack...I..."

"Stay with me," Jack said. Daniel quieted. "I'm not going away and I want you to stay so I can prove it to you."

"It's the drugs," Daniel whispered. His eyes held a mixture of hope and fear. "Jack, you're going to wake up tomorrow and hate me--"

Jack reached over and cupped Daniel's cheek. Gently, he rubbed his thumb across Daniel's jaw. "No. Never," Jack murmured. "I won't." He pulled his hand away and patted the space besides him. "Trust me enough to stay and find out?"

Daniel stared at Jack for the longest time.

"I won't do anything, Daniel. I just want you near, near enough for me to know you're alive."

"And that you're alive," Daniel whispered back, his voice cracking, revealing how hairy the mission was. After all that time being calm and firm as he helped Jack make their way back to the Stargate, Daniel's relief, fear, everything he held at bay made his lower lip quiver until he bit down on it.

"Stay, Daniel." Jack watched Daniel slowly go over him and warily lay next to him on the bed. Watching the stiff posture, Jack rolled to his side and reached out, pulling Daniel against him. Daniel tensed at first before relaxing into Jack's hold.

"We can get it back," Jack whispered. He felt Daniel shudder before tentative arms slipped under Jack. Jack pulled Daniel in even closer. "That and more if you want, Daniel."

"Do you?"

Jack didn't hesitate. "Yes, I do. I want more, Daniel. Because it feels right." Jack cupped the back of Daniel's neck, felt the younger man hesitantly rest his head on his shoulder. "Stay and come morning, find out."

Daniel didn't say anything at first. After a long moment, he slowly nodded. He relaxed further, his head tucked under Jack's chin.

"Go to sleep, Daniel," Jack whispered as he felt Daniel growing lax, his body like it was molding against Jack. It felt right. It was right. Jack closed his eyes. He took a deep breath and smelled sandlewood and tea again. And yes, he was right--nutmeg too. Jack caressed the back of Daniel's neck very softly with his fingertips. "You'll see," he whispered. "We'll get it back. We'll both be here. Together."

"Promise?" A lilt of hope finally crept into Daniel's sleepy voice.

Jack kissed the top of Daniel's head. "What ya think?"

A soft sigh and Daniel drifted to sleep.

Stroking Daniel's short hair, feeling feathery soft under his palms, Jack let himself finally get the sleep his body had craved, already looking forward to morning.

 END

Disclaimer: Neither SG1, SGC, nor for that matter SG-anything are mine. We all know who they belong to. I've just borrowed them, cleaned them afterwards and left them (sort of) 'as were'. Written for no money, only love, with no intention to infringe on any copyright, purely for entertainment. Please don't archive without my permission.