Lori's Totally Accurate Slutbunny Ratings
NB. It has been suggested by some people that there is a hint of bias in some of these ratings but after extensive checking the markers can find no such bias and think the complainants are just whiners, quite frankly
Children of the Gods
DANIEL
Action – Lets a woman snog him in public. (+2 slutbunny points.)
Mitigating Circumstances – She's his wife so it’s allowed. (-2 slutbunny points.)
Verdict – Exemplary behavior from Daniel here.
Total = 0 slutbunny points.
The Broca Divide
JACK
Action – Lets Sam snog him when she has the Touched virus. (+2 slutbunny points)
Mitigating Circumstances – He does fight her off. (-1 slutbunny points)
Verdict – Not bad but could do better.
Total = 1 slutbunny point.
DANIEL
Action – Acts as if he might have been making whoopee with Melosha. (+3 slutbunny points.)
MC – She obviously gave him the Touched virus when she was stronger than he was so he isn't responsible for his actions. (-3 slutbunny points)
Verdict – Is clearly blameless in every way.
Total = 0 slutbunny points.
Brief Candle
JACK
Action – Jumps straight into bed with Kinthia after a few bites of alien Bakewell tart. (+5 slutbunny points)
Mitigating Circumstances – The Bakewell is drugged, which still isn’t good enough as Jack is definitely old enough to know better. (-1 slutbunny points)
Verdict – The Bakewell wasn’t the only thing tarty in this episode.
Total = 4 slutbunny points.
Hathor
JACK
Action – Is clearly very tempted by Hathor and her low-fitting costume and gets himself Jaffa’d as a consequence. (+2 slutbunny points)
Mitigating Circumstances – I suppose some might argue the purple mist was a mitigating factor but he could have made some attempt to fight back surely…? (-1 slutbunny point)
Verdict – Really does get somewhat lead around by the…nose in this one and is a bit of an embarrassment all round.
Total = 1 slutbunny point.
DANIEL
Action – Gets kissed then boffed by Hathor after she has chosen him to be her ‘beloved’. (+5 slutbunny points)
Mitigating Circumstances – Daniel clearly puts up a valiant struggle in this episode on several occasions despite the purple mist wafted all over him. (-5 slutbunny points)
Verdict – Shows remarkable strong-mindedness in resisting the nasty woman when she attempts to have her wicked way with him and clearly had to be subdued by force, poor baby. Deserves only praise and cookies as a consequence.
Total = 0 slutbunny points.
Enigma
SAM
Action – Kisses Narim. (+2 slutbunny points)
Mitigating Circumstances – Narim is very handsome and anyway why shouldn’t Sam get to kiss good-looking men from time to time. Does she have to spend every minute doing boring astrophysical stuff? (-2 slutbunny points)
Verdict – Can’t see anything wrong with Sam’s behaviour here at all.
Total = 0 slutbunny points.
Need
DANIEL
Action – Lets Shyla the Hormonal Princess snog him (and possibly do much worse to him). (+3 slutbunny points)
Mitigating Circumstances – Is under the influence of the sarcophagus so isn’t responsible for his actions. (-3 slutbunny points)
Verdict – Once again Daniel is entirely blameless.
Total = 0 slutbunny points.
Family
TEAL’C
Action – Let’s a woman snog him in public. (+2 slutbunny points)
Mitigating Circumstances – She's his wife so it’s allowed and her being briefly married to that other guy is just a blip anyway as she and Teal'c are much hotter together. (-2 slutbunny points.)
Verdict – Exemplary behavior from Teal'c here.
Total = 0 slutbunny points.
The Tok’Ra
SAM
Action – Holds hands with Martouf. (+1 slutbunny points)
Mitigating Circumstances – It’s Martouf, who is very handsome, and they have that Jolinar connection, and anyway it’s only holding hands FCOL! (-1 slutbunny points)
Verdict – Nothing here for which Sam could possibly be blamed.
Total = 0 slutbunny points.
Point of View
JACK
Action – Kisses AU Carter when she has just lost her husband. (+2 slutbunny points)
Mitigating Circumstances – He looks as if he’d rather have a root canal. Not really good enough, Jack. You should have been more gentlemanly.
Verdict – Once again Jack acts like the team bike in public. Tut, tut, tut.
Total = 2 slutbunny points.
Past and Present
DANIEL
Action – Kisses Ke’ra and probably has sex with her too. (+3 slutbunny points)
Mitigating Circumstances – His wife has just died and he’s on the rebound. And he looks really hot in this episode. (-3 slutbunny points)
Verdict – Perfectly understandable behaviour under the circumstances.
Total = 0 slutbunny points.
A Hundred Days
JACK
Action – Shacks up with Laira for three months and sleeps with her when she asks him to. (+5 slutbunny points)
Mitigating Circumstances – It could possibly be argued that as he was drunk when she asked him and in any case thought he was never going home, not to mention was accepting her hospitality and so would have been rude to refuse, that Jack did nothing wrong here. We disagree.
Verdict – Jack is a total tart while off world yet again. Why oh why can’t he follow Daniel’s excellent example instead?
Total: 5 slutbunny points.
Crossroads
TEAL’C
Action – Spends the night with an ex-girlfriend who is in considerable physical pain from her symbiote needing to find a host. (+5 slutbunny points)
Mitigating Circumstances – They’re in love, look amazing together, and Teal'c is astonishingly hot in this episode. (-4 slutbunny points)
Verdict – Still a bit of a tart, alas.
Total: 1 slutbunny point.
Window of Opportunity
JACK
Action – Kisses Sam when she isn't going to remember it and has only just lost Martouf.
(+5 slutbunny points)
Mitigating Circumstances – None
Verdict – Not just a tart but an unethical tart with very poor taste in clothes.
Total = 5 slutbunny points
DANIEL
Action – Did suggest to Jack twice that he could do anything he wanted while the time loop was going on, and did look a little as if he was up for it. (+1 slutbunny point)
Mitigating Circumstances – He is a good boy so was probably thinking of something else entirely. (-1 slutbunny point)
Verdict – As always a credit to the SGC.
Total = 0 slutbunny points
SAM
Action – could have won a whacking great 50 sb credit points if she had only used her knee at the right moment, however she does, sadly, respond, despite only having lost Martouf the episode before, tut, tut, tut. (+2 slutbunny points)
Mitigating Circumstances – Can't think of any, really, as Jack's clothes are appalling so he wasn't even looking hot. There can really be no excuse for ever snogging a man in a knitcap.
Verdict – Let the side down a little there, Sam.
Total = 2 slutbunny points.
TEAL’C
Action – unknown. Could have been having a totally tarty time but as we didn't see any of it will give him the benefit of the doubt.
Mitigating Circumstances – none necessary.
Verdict – Jolly well done, Teal'c, and if only Jack would follow your excellent example.
Total = 0 slutbunny points.
2010
SAM
Action – Kisses Joe Fallon with great enthusiasm. (+2 slutbunny points)
Mitigating Circumstances – She is married to him at the time and he is very handsome. (-2 slutbunny points)
Verdict – Perfectly virtuous behaviour from Sam in this episode.
Total = 0 slutbunny points.
Ascension
SAM
Action – Hides an astonishingly pretty alien guy in her house for a week and doesn’t tell anyone about him. (+5 slutbunny points)
Mitigating Circumstances – Orlin is drop dead gorgeous and anyway he’s non-corporeal a lot of the time, and even if he isn’t, who could blame her? (-5 slutbunny points)
Verdict – Nothing here for which Sam can be reproached.
Total = 0 slutbunny points.
