Come to the Edge
By JayEm
~*~
"Come to the edge
He said. They said: We are afraid.
Come to the edge
He said. They came.
He pushed them, and
they flew..."
-Guillaume Apollinaire
~*~

“Make it stop, Jack….”

Biting back a frustrated response, Jack clenched Daniel’s hand tighter than ever.

‘I can’t, Daniel. Tell me how, I’ll do anything…’

Almost twenty-four hours of feeling Daniel’s pain as if it were his own had worn on Jack’s nerves and energy. The level of helplessness he felt at this moment was something Jack had never expected or wanted to feel again.

Daniel sounded so weak, and looked so near death, that Jack couldn’t help thinking that one wrong move would send the younger man over the edge and away from them forever.

That simply was not acceptable.

Carter and Teal’c had been gone more than long enough to make it to the gate, Jack was sure they had to be on the way back with help by now.

‘Please let them be on the way back…’ Jack almost moaned aloud.

Daniel was dying, Jack was sure of it. He was in pain even repeated doses of morphine didn’t seem to faze and the things that slipped out in his whispered moans made Jack sure there was a hell of a lot more going on than an alien virus.

‘That or Daniel’s got more ghosts in his closet than I ever suspected.’

Jack was sure, whatever had hold of Daniel, was more than just attacking his system. It was attacking his mind and body and just from the bits Jack was hearing, it was wearing Daniel down.

“Please, don’t let it touch me…”

At first Jack had thought Daniel was talking about him, but the strength of the man’s hand in his own made it clear Daniel was not going to let go on his own. The feeling in Jack’s fingers had stopped long before but he had no intention of letting go. Whatever it was, Jack’s closeness seemed to be holding it back, keeping it from taking Daniel away to what Jack was sure would be a terrible death…or worse.

Jack pulled the blankets tighter around Daniel’s shaking form, using the damp bandanna in his hand to wipe the sweat off the other man’s face once again. Daniel was so hot the cloth was nearly dry again, but Jack couldn’t bring himself to let go of the hand clinging to his in order to retrieve more water.

‘I can’t let go, can’t let him face this alone…’

Daniel’s back arched as he gasped through another wave of pain, his voice too hoarse to scream anymore, rasping and rough as he tried to vocalize what he was seeing and feeling in the grip of whatever it was attacking him.

Reaching down with his free hand, Jack stroked Daniels forehead and cheek as he spilled out words he wasn’t even listening to anymore. Just words and more words to make Daniel see he wasn’t alone. Words that told Daniel how Jack felt even if they didn’t come right out and declare the love Jack knew he’d felt for his friend for a very long time. Daniel knew, Jack was sure of Daniel had known long before Jack himself had realized it. And had known neither of them had been ready for it to be said.

Not then.

Maybe not now.

Maybe not ever if Jack couldn’t find a way to stop this….

Jack shook his head sharply, banishing the thought.

‘Can’t think that way, can’t give up on him…’

“You hear me, Danny? No giving up. I won’t if you won’t. Promise. No one gives up today…”

Jack wasn’t sure if he was promising or if he was asking Daniel to, but it didn’t matter. Daniel was breathing shakily as the pain subsided, staring up at Jack with eyes bright and burning with fever and maybe something more….

“Try…” Daniel whispered, promising even as the next wave rolled in.

Dammit.

~*~

The darkness crashed in again, pushing, hurting.

Daniel couldn’t make it stop, no matter how hard he tried.

And he couldn’t manage to stay coherent long enough to tell Jack it wasn’t some alien illness, but he hoped Jack understood…

‘God…Just need to hold onto Jack. He’s the only thing keeping it from taking me…killing me in a final assault on my mind and body…’

It felt like rape.

It was rape.

Inhuman touch, inhuman demands, inhuman need to control Daniel. Pushing against Daniel on every level, mental, physical, spiritual. Dark evilness seeking to claim him, to hurt him, to take him away from Jack forever….

Only Jack held it at bay, not even realizing he was doing it. Only Jack’s love…and yes, Daniel had heard the words that confirmed what he’d known for so long…kept Daniel safe.

In pain, but safe.

‘Please, Jack….’

Daniel could hear the fear in Jack’s voice, felt it in his light touches. Touches that were the only blessed relief he knew, brief moments of peace before the assault began again, stronger and more determined than ever.

Daniel didn’t know what it was that held him in its grip, though he had a suspicion, what he did know was they couldn’t let it win. Daniel was sure, beyond knowing how, that if he lost Jack would lose too.

He had to hang on….

~*~

Jack was getting a really bad feeling….

More and more he felt like this was something more…a lot more…than some alien virus. By lying down full length against Daniel, he’d managed to hook a toe around the canteen and drag it within reach. Dribbling a little on Daniel’s lips, bruised and bloody from his efforts to hold back the pain.

But Daniel had relaxed.

With Jack’s weight against him, nearly every inch of their bodies touching as Jack leaned across to retrieve the canteen, Daniel had sighed and rested for the first time since it had all begun.

There was something so not right about it all. Jack felt…

A threat.

Something real but not quite there, and so damn dangerous. Something that had nothing to do with microscopic bugs and everything to do with evil.

He could feel Daniel’s exhaustion, and Jack knew he couldn’t let go. He wasn’t sure how he knew, he just did. Whatever the threat was, they were holding it back together. As they should be, as they had always done….just not together in quite this way.

‘But we should be…’

Suddenly Jack knew what he had to do. What he couldn’t not do.

He just hoped like hell Daniel would understand….

Sliding down further beside Daniel, Jack pulled the pain-stiff and trembling body close against his shoulder. Slowly he began stroking his hands up and down Daniel’s sweat-soaked back. Hooking his leg around Daniel’s Jack pulled him closer, increasing the physical contact between them as much as possible.

Daniel sighed against Jack’s neck, the trembling easing a little and confirming Jack’s feeling that he was doing the right thing. Jack took a deep breath, daring to begin to relax when Daniel stiffened against him, giving a ragged, barely audible moan. Daniel’s head pressed hard into Jack’s chest and his arms came up to grab double handfuls of his shirt.

It wasn’t over yet….

‘But what else can I do?’ Jack wondered helplessly, holding hard to Daniel as his mind cast out for something - anything - to help. ‘We’re as close as humanly possible with clothes on…’

The thought made Jack look at the position they were in. He wasn’t touching Daniel’s skin anymore; he’d let go of Daniel’s hand…

‘Fuck…’

Pulling hard on Daniel’s t-shirt, Jack put his hands on the other man’s bare back, stroking and kneading the skin and trying to touch as much of Daniel as he could. Daniel relaxed, shuddering through the aftermath until he was lying quietly again.

Skin to skin, Jack thought, that had to be it….

Keeping one arm tight around Daniel, Jack maneuvered his own shirt up and over his head, not bothering to pull his arms out. Rolling a little to bring Daniel entirely on top of him, heart to heart in more ways than one. The reaction was immediate as Daniel sprawled over him, completely relaxed for the first time since it had all begun.

Jack started whispering in Daniel’s ear, more words he wasn’t listening to but words that came straight from his heart.

This was all that mattered, all Jack needed to matter…and he damn well didn’t intend to lose it.

With a sigh of surrender, Jack found himself kissing every part of Daniel he could reach.

Praying it was finally over…

Praying it was only beginning.

~*~

The absence of pain, the loss of the feeling of evil that had harried him so long sent a shudder of relief all through Daniel’s body. He wasn’t sure he could say it was gone, but for the moment - that one blessed moment - Daniel was free. It had let him go.

But Jack hadn’t.

Daniel could feel Jack’s body underneath him, his hands seemingly everywhere at once, his lips and his words washing across Daniel’s senses like a cool fresh breeze. Daniel felt almost at peace.

‘Jack loves me…’

Daniel could feel the emotion pouring out over him, onto him, into him. Jack loved him. Utterly, wonderfully, completely.

The knowledge brought its own sort of energy, the shadows started to recede and Daniel started to believe it might be over…

When suddenly it wasn’t.

It was back and Daniel nearly lost himself in the vicious wave of its assault.

Pain.

Bruising, pounding, punishing.

Pulling him away from Jack…

‘Can’t lose this now…won’t lose Jack…’

~*~

Jack felt it when Daniel came under attack again, literally felt the evil descend around them, pulling out all the stops in what Jack was certain was a final desperate effort to win.

And if it won, they would both be lost…

‘Not going to happen…’

Jack slid Daniel down and under him, taking the moment to remove both their shirts before covering Daniel’s body with his own. His hands moved restlessly, then purposefully in a frankly sexual manner.

Fighting fire with fire…had to work…

Taking Daniel’s strained face between his hands, Jack kissed him. Full and deep, possessing and possessed. Giving and receiving what they both needed, and had wanted for so long…

The shadows began to recede, Daniel was responding….

Almost there, almost free and another wave crashed in with all the energy of darkness and hate Jack always associated with the goa’uld. Something ancient and insidious, seeing Daniel as a last bid for freedom, thinking him weak and uncared for, an easy target…

“No way in hell,” Jack growled against Daniel’s lips, pouring every ounce of this incredible love he felt into an assault of a very different kind. The fight for the one he loved, the only one he would ever love again. Would ever want to.

They’d just found this feeling, no way was he letting it go.

No way…

It was the most intense kiss of his entire life. Things were being said, asked, promised, sworn as he felt Daniel respond. The vow was proffered, accepted, returned, and written in the blood that even now poured from their punished and punishing kiss.

It didn’t matter. Daniel was his and he was Daniel’s and nothing would ever be the same again.

And the evil…was gone.

They both felt it go. Both felt its absence even as they felt so much more.

Jack knew it was neither the time nor the place, but he wasn’t ready to let go…and from the strong grip holding him, neither was Daniel.

It was okay; they had time now. They’d gone to the edge and back again, emerging victorious in more ways than they would ever have imagined possible less than a day ago.

They’d made it, they had it all, and Jack swore they’d never let it go again…

*fin*