Title: On a Prayer
Date: September 18, 2001
Author: JayEm
Email: Jay_Em5@yahoo.com
Status: Complete
Rating: NC17
Category: Slash, AU
Pairing: J/D
Archive: J/D, Area 52, JayEm’s page
URL: http://jayem.ma-at.net
Disclaimer:
Spoilers: The majority of season four, other scattered earlier ones
Summary: A shameless steal <okay, not totally shameless> from the movie Frequency, with an SG twist…every good boy deserves a do-over.
Notes: Thanks to Brenda, Lori, Lore, Quinn, Gem, Carol and the slash chat crew who always stick by me. Title and Chapter headings are from the theme to Frequency - When You Come Back to Me Again by Garth Brooks.
Warnings/fic spoiler: Click to read warnings

On a Prayer

By JayEm

Chapter 1 - Lost and Broken
Rainy Lake, Minnesota
July 4, 2010
~*~

The moonlight stubbornly filtered through the mist over the lake, casting a silver-blue surrealism over everything it touched. Jack sighed and leaned back against the stump of the tree he’d cut down earlier that day, finally and symbolically severing his last tie to a past that included Daniel.

They’d planted the ash sapling together twelve years before during an extended leave after Daniel’s long search for his wife had ended in her death. The tiny tree had been a glimmer of hope for the future at a time when Daniel’s terrible grief had needed it most - a grief Jack liked to believe he’d helped alleviate.

The tree had grown healthy and strong in the first few years; its leaves whispering secrets to both men on the rare occasions they had managed to slip away from their duties and recapture the sense of peace the place had come to provide them both in the time they’d been friends.

Or maybe, Jack thought, it had just been the company.

It didn’t really matter - it was gone. Just like the tree was gone, twisted and snapped by storm winds leaving sharp splinters of heartwood reaching mutely and futilely for its other half.

Jack laughed harshly at the correlation his mind drew between the tree’s situation and his own, laughed again and raised the bottle of Tennessee’s finest to his lips in the desperate hope it would somehow dull the pain of reaching for his own other half - only to know it was irretrievably gone.

Daniel was dead. And Jack was slowly dying, hidden away in his rustic cabin, away from the prying eyes of those who would try to stop him, and definitely would never understand.

It had been almost ten years since Daniel had faced Osiris alone and unarmed, later lapsing into a coma and dying from the prolonged exposure to the goa’uld’s ribbon device. Jack hadn’t been there when Daniel needed him, had been here in fact, salving his own ego after being confronted with his own sexuality and running away like the coward he was. Jack remembered the last time he’d seen Daniel alive. Remembered the one kiss they’d shared before his own prejudice had sent him flying out the door - and reality had stolen Daniel away forever.

One kiss that had haunted him for ten long years.

God…Daniel…

That kiss and Daniel’s death had driven home to Jack the utter certainty that there never could have been anything between him and Carter. He hadn’t been lying when he’d said he would have died rather than lose her, he would have - no question - for any of his team. But Daniel - Jack would have gone to hell and back for him, would have paid any price to have one more hour; just one more hour to admit the feelings he’d suppressed until it was far, far too late. He’d failed Daniel in so many ways and his penance was to live in exile, surrounded by the knowledge of what he’d done. He’d been here - off exercising his self-pity under the guise of fishing, dragging Daniel’s other protector along for the ride - and Daniel had died.

Carter and Fraiser had done their best; Jack never doubted that. Both had returned to the SGC bleary-eyed and recovering from their own injuries dealt by Osiris - but steadfastly refusing to stand down from their honor guard of Daniel’s body. Jack and Teal’c had returned to the base just in time to dress then go meet the plane, arriving stiff with shock even as the flag-draped coffin was being respectfully offloaded by Griff, Feretti, and SG2. Arrived in time to face the proof of Jack’s failure like a kick in the gut that hadn’t eased in ten long years.

Jack knew Carter and Fraiser had done their best; he never let them accept the blame. The two of them had done all that could have been done with Carter’s trank gun and three pistols…even Daniel had managed to get off a few shots, deflected by the goa’uld’s personal shield…before Osiris had brought his ribbon device to bear. Daniel had faced Osiris alone and defenseless while Fraiser and Carter lay unconscious just a few feet away. Had died moments after the goa’uld departed, blood pouring from his nose, ears and throat as he choked out two final words, “Tell Jack…”

“Tell me what, Daniel?” Jack mused to the distant stars. “Tell me I was a jackass? Knew that. Tell me I threw away the one great thing I had going for me? Tell me what?”

With a choked sigh, Jack pulled another long swallow of the rough whiskey, concentrating on the burning sensation it created as he forced it down past the lump of harsh emotion lodged in his throat.

It was too little and far too late.

Daniel was gone.

“God, I’m so sorry, Daniel….” Jack whispered to the distant stars, one hand scrubbing over a face gone numb from too much whiskey. But the numbness never spread over his heart or soul, no amount of liquor in ten years of trying had ever been enough to cauterize the wound where Daniel had been ripped from his life. Jack was well aware he was only waiting to die, after he’d hurt enough to begin to atone for not being there to save the man he loved.

Sliding down the stump to lie back in the damp grass and sawdust, Jack tracked a line of errant fog over the lake. He watched as it cleared a path to the smattering of stars cast across the blackness of space. Jack knew Daniel would have loved sharing it in the companionable silence that was a hallmark of their friendship. They’d been damn good at giving and accepting support with little more than a word or a glance. They’d been damn good at so many things…and Jack was certain they’d have been the greatest as lovers as well.

Jack ghosted a hand over his unresponsive cock, knowing he was past the point of being able to evoke any physical reaction to the thought of Daniel’s body next to his. There’d been a lot of occasions where Jack had looked, not even realizing he was doing it, so he knew his fantasies were at least anatomically correct. He’d spent so many dark nights concentrating on the memories of Daniel’s face, his hands, his body, that he could fool himself into believing Daniel was with him, touching, tasting, taking him over the edge time and time again. But then he would open his eyes, alone again with just the bitter scent of his own release and a wet spot on a mattress quickly growing too ripe to be tolerated if he were in the mood to care. He hadn’t been in that mood in a decade…and didn’t foresee a return to it anytime in the future.

The chill of the night was beginning to creep into Jack’s bones and he knew he should summon the effort to take himself inside. He’d probably die of exposure staying out in the cold as drunk as he was. As appealing as the thought might be, Jack knew he hadn’t suffered enough; he couldn’t die yet.

With an effort at coordination, he pulled himself upright, using both hands on the stump to steady himself before staggering off toward the dark cabin. A bright flash distracted him, a light over the lake that hadn’t been there before. A part of his mind still linked to his past wondered briefly if it were a comet, even as the part of him that wanted to die hoped it was…and that it would plow up the earth around the cabin and grant him the release he could not grant himself. He let the fantasy dance in his heart a brief moment, then shrugged his shoulders and went inside.

Chapter 2 - Wandering Aimlessly
Rainy Lake, Minnesota
July 5, 2010
~*~

The late morning sun slotted itself between the blinds, causing the dust to dance in the light stabbing into Jack’s barely open eyes. He knew he should attempt to get up…if nothing else his bladder was warning him of imminent deluge if he delayed much longer. He wasn’t sure he really cared, but he was sure he didn’t want to go that route for a waterbed.

Getting up was a slow process punctuated by grunts, groans and popping cartilage - plus a headache that threatened to put him right back where he’d started if he didn’t cease and desist immediately. His bladder was earnestly trying to convince his head that its needs took precedence even as Jack tried to force the decision by planting both feet on the cold floor and pushing off. His head was reluctant to give up the battle but eventually his bladder propelled him toward the bathroom.

Jack squinted at his reflection in the mirror before clumsily unzipping his pants and attending to his bladder’s needs.

‘Who the hell’s bright idea was it to hang a mirror over the head anyway?’ he grumbled to himself, knowing he was the one who’d hung the mirror after Daniel’s last visit. As good a laugh as it had been to see Daniel with bits of tissue stuck to a myriad of shaving cuts, Jack had resolved not to let it happen again.

“Christ…” Jack winced at the harshness of his own voice in the silence of the cabin. He usually managed to at least make it to the kitchen and his first cup of coffee before thoughts of Daniel had him reaching for a bottle. Not a good sign. Definite bad day ahead…not that any of them had qualified as good in too long to remember or care.

Stumbling out of the bathroom, Jack trailed aimlessly toward the kitchen, bypassing the coffeepot in favor of the whiskey crate on the counter beside it. Four bottles left then he’d have to fire up the net and make a grocery order. The modern conveniences of direct deposit of his generous pension plus point and click shopping and free home delivery to regular customers insured Jack’s isolation. Hell, he didn’t even have to see the delivery guy if he didn’t want to - and he never did - the tip could be added to the bill. Twenty bucks went a long way toward dousing curiosity about the hermit on Rainy Lake.

“Sounds like a freaking bad romance novel…” Jack groused as he broke the seal on the bottle with a jerk and swallowed the burning liquid with determination. “Oh ten hundred and all is fucking not well…”

With a bitter laugh, Jack filled the coffeepot with water and turned it on after deciding the previous day’s grounds still had enough life in them to make the whisky taste more respectable. Grabbing a mug and catching the first drips of the pot, he topped the cup off with an equal splash of the liquor, and headed for the porch.

The mist of the night before had already burnt away to reveal a pale, cloudless sky, painfully bright to Jack’s eyes. Scratching at his three-day beard, he sighed and sat down in the shadowed corner furthest from the sun. The darkness along with several long swallows of his caffeinated whiskey helped his mind clear to the point that he could open his completely and study the tree line above the lake…and the thin line of smoke rising there. It was the wrong season for hunters, and fishing hadn’t been worth crap that year, and besides…

“That’s on my property….”

Jack hadn’t stirred a great deal of interest in much of anything over the past few years, but the one thing still capable of rousing his temper and focus outward was intrusions on his solitude. There’d been a lot in the early years of his exile, but intimate acquaintance with Jack’s dour face fronted by his Sig Sauer had discouraged all but the most ignorantly foolhardy who chose to ignore the ‘no trespassing’ signs liberally posted along the property lines. The last intruder had crossed back into free territory extremely grateful, extremely cold, and extremely naked. It had been years since anyone had tried again.

Until now.

Moving back inside, Jack shoved his feet into the boots sitting beside the door and crossed to the mantle to retrieve his pistol, instinctively checking the weapon even as he placed it in the back of his belt, and reached for his jacket and hat. Adrenaline cleared the last of the hangover clouding his brain as he set off into the woods, trying not to think how good it felt to – in some small way – set out on a mission again. Or how lonely.

Jack smelled the smoke first, thick with chemical and metallic odors that alerted him to the fact this was no ordinary trespasser’s campfire. The need for caution kicked in and Jack crouched into the nearest cover and pulled his weapon, quietly advancing on the source of the smoke. As he slipped up to the crest of the hill, he nearly fell to his knees at the sight.

A death glider, mangled and smoldering, electrical sparks arcing across the shattered canopy where the pilot lay face down in the brush.

‘What the hell’s a jaffa doing in Minnesota?’

Jack had thought he’d seen his last jaffa the day he’d said goodbye to Teal’c. Sure, he’d read the news and rumors on the outer fringe of the ‘net; he’d become adept at filtering information from disinformation, misinformation and crazy-sounding reality into a reasonable facsimile of the truth. A talent he’d confirmed the last and only time he’d left the cabin four years before to attend Hammond’s funeral; retirement had slowly eaten away at the man’s spirit and even his beloved granddaughters hadn’t been enough to pull him out of it.

Feretti had told Jack how Bauer had nearly cost the SGC everything, but how Carter had pulled off a last-minute miracle to save the mountain and the program. But nothing had been able to save Bauer’s job, even the NID couldn’t keep their puppet on after the boner he’d pulled. Vidrine had taken over, turning the once focused and happy command into a no-nonsense, military objectives only operation. Carter had died not long after, shot by Vidrine himself after being taken over by some alien entity that had found its way into the base computers. Feretti had been sure Carter dying had been the last blow for Hammond and Jack was just as sure he was right.

So what the hell was he going to do about this? The last thing he wanted was Vidrine and his goons traipsing all over his property looking for every last bolt and wire from the glider.

“Ah, hell…”

Jack moved cautiously forward, gun trained on the jaffa’s body. The amount of blood made him pretty sure it was a body, but he wasn’t so far gone as to take anything for granted when it came to the goa’uld. Jack cast quick glances around the wreckage, assuring himself there had only been one occupant, but his main focus was the jaffa. He moved in closer, pushed the body with one foot. The cloak fell away to reveal a face Jack knew well, the face of a dead man.

Teal’c.

Chapter 3 - At the Mercy
Rainy Lake, Minnesota
July 5, 2010
~*~

How the hell had Teal’c gotten here?

More importantly, why?

After almost nine years of believing the last member of his team had died helping the Tok’ra move off Vorash, Jack found it more than a little hard to believe Teal’c was actually lying in front of him, bleeding all over his couch. Experience had taught him dead men didn’t tend to bleed.

A pile of towels on the coffee table were already sodden with blood from the puncture wound directly above the center point of the jaffa’s pouch, Junior Mach-whatever was dead. Jack had managed to put aside the revulsion even ten years hadn’t dulled to check: the symbiote had been severed completely in two, it’s bright blue blood mixing into the womb’s fluid and killing Teal’c just as surely as the wound was. Jack was shocked the big man had survived this long.

Teal’c hadn’t stirred at all on the rough trail back to the cabin; a trip made all the more arduous by Jack’s own poor physical condition. Ten years of isolated living had forced him to remain somewhat active, but too many nights of excess had taken the edge off his strength and endurance. It just hadn’t seemed to matter.

Several times on the way back he’d considered leaving Teal’c behind, making that call for help. Even now it was hard to fight his instincts, but something had brought Teal’c here, almost literally to Jack’s doorstep, and until he knew what that something was Jack wasn’t about to put his friend in the hands of outsiders like Vidrine.

Jack had found very little on Teal’c’s person, the usual jaffa accessories: zat, manacles, a small device that displayed images of Teal’c’s son, images of Ry’ac the boy, not Ry’ac the young man and leader of the jaffa resistance Jack had met at Hammond’s funeral. There was one other device, something that looked very similar to one of the goa’uld communication orbs but smaller and studded with a patchwork of goa’uld-ish symbols.

Jack sighed and moved to stoke up the fire. He knew he should make something to eat; the sun was starting to slip beneath the distant hills, late afternoon already and he hadn’t had anything since the whiskey-laced coffee he’d left behind earlier to investigate the smoke. But he wasn’t a bit hungry. In fact, he felt a distinct nausea at the realization that something in his life was about to change. His isolation was over. Whatever had brought Teal’c here was going to alter life as Jack had known it. Maybe forever.

With a sigh, Jack turned toward the kitchen. Food still wasn’t high on his list of priorities but he sure as hell needed a drink.

~*~

“O’Neill…”

It was barely more than a rasp but the sound of another voice in the cabin was more than enough to wake Jack. Ten years of silence broken only by his own voice were almost enough to make Jack forget why the other voice was here. Almost.

Unwrapping himself from the armchair and blanket where he’d crashed just after sunset, Jack stumbled to Teal’c’s side. The once vital jaffa looked like hell, sweat standing out on a face flushed even darker by fever. Dilated eyes looked up in something close to wonder as he met Jack’s gaze for the first time.

“O’Neill…” he sighed again, his voice slightly stronger this time.

“Hey…” Jack winced at the banal inadequacy of his response, but he couldn’t seem to come up with a better one. It had been too long, too much time spent believing Teal’c inhabited the place where most of his ghosts resided - save one. Daniel’s place was as solitary as Jack’s actual existence and just as closely guarded.

With a shuddering gasp, Teal’c closed his eyes against his pain and Jack felt a surge of helplessness. There was nothing he could do, nothing he could say that would help and once again he questioned his decision not to at least call Fraiser. He let his hand hover over the telephone. “Maybe I should…”

“No!” Teal’c’s voice strengthened suddenly and harshly. “They cannot help me now and I have much to tell you…”

Jack caught his breath at the urgent, almost desperate determination Teal’c projected, even now when he was so close to dying. What could be so important? Worse - did Jack really want to know?

Teal’c was looking around the cabin, eyes searching every surface until finally resting on the strange orb Jack had found in his gear. Jack picked it up and handed it to Teal’c, handing it over with a questioning eyebrow before moving to sit in the rocking chair beside the sofa.

“Long story?”

With a bare lift of his lips Teal’c acknowledged the phrase and its attendant memory of other, better, times - well, not necessarily better times, but times when they were all together and that had made them better. And somehow it was easier to remember with Teal’c here, easier not to face the ghosts alone.

“Extremely,” Teal’c confirmed quietly, carefully turning the orb and depressing three of the symbols. The air above the orb shimmered, colors dancing wildly before coalescing into an image….

A rearview of a figure bent over a book, fingers thrumming on the surface next to it in a pattern both painful and familiar. The dark cloth of the man’s shirt flexed with persistent movement, stretching and relaxing in a pattern of concentration Jack remembered all too well.

It was Daniel.

Chapter 4 - I Hear Your Voice
Rainy Lake, Minnesota
July 5, 2010
~*~

Daniel.

Living, breathing, beautifully and characteristically lost in the pursuit of knowledge. Jack wished the figure would turn, wished he could see…

“Hey…” It was his own voice, vibrant, full of promise, totally focused on the man at the desk.

The dark head turned and Jack had to stop himself from reaching out to touch the face he’d never hoped to see again.

“Jack…” Daniel’s voice breathed his name, his eyes glowing warmly with a shy pleasure Jack had never forgotten…and never really appreciated when he had it.

With a tap of Teal’c’s finger the image froze and collapsed on itself. Jack couldn’t help the feeling of loss that shuddered through him, a chill, dark thing he had thought himself beyond feeling again. It had seemed so real….

“I am sorry, O’Neill…” Teal’c whispered and Jack knew that he was, it was just…

“I know,” he assured Teal’c, unable to contain the ache in his voice. “Where the hell did you get a recording of Daniel? Of us?”

Teal’c swallowed hard, obviously summoning energy from somewhere within the vast reserves of determination that had always seen him through.

“It is not a recording device, O’Neill. The lec’tal is a means of viewing the past, of communicating…”

Jack sat up straight. “Communicating?”

Teal’c nodded. “Indeed. With this device one can see the past and change the future. It is how Apophis killed Daniel Jackson.”

Jack felt his heart sink, the glow of seeing Daniel again shattering with the apparently delusional words. Daniel had been killed by Osiris. No one else.

“Teal’c, buddy…”

“No!” Teal’c gasped as he tried to sit up. “Hear me, O’Neill. Apophis hated Daniel Jackson above all others. Enough to use forbidden knowledge and technology to alter the natural course of events. Events that would have led to Apophis’ own death had Daniel Jackson lived.”

“But…” Jack shook his head. “Osiris…”

“Would not have succeeded had Apophis not programmed Major Carter to appropriate the tranquilizer gun against the original plan…” Teal’c slipped back against the sofa cushions, breath coming in harsh gasps now. “Daniel Jackson was not meant to die.”

God, how he wanted it to be true.

He remembered Carter apologizing, over and over, for changing the plan at the last moment - strangely unable to explain why she’d taken the trank gun when they’d all agreed that Daniel had the best chance of getting close to Steven Raynor. Of course, Raynor hadn’t been the one they needed to worry about but none of them had known it before entering the temple.

“Had Daniel Jackson carried the tranquilizer darts, he would have survived.”

It was all too much. Impossible to accept that Apophis possessed the subtlety to avert his own death and seek his revenge quietly - to kill Daniel without a word of gloating in ten long years. Impossible to accept that the loss he’d felt every moment of those years had been so damn unnecessary.

“I have seen it…” Teal’c continued softly. “I have seen the life Daniel Jackson should have had. With you.”

Jack looked up sharply at the words, looked into Teal’c’s dark eyes fairly shining with the knowledge of things known and accepted as fate thwarted unjustly. Teal’c understood and approved, and wanted to help Jack get it back. Help them all get it back.

But was it the right thing to do? All Carter’s speeches on paradoxes and dichotomies had sunk in. Not that Jack had always agreed or understood, but he really did fathom the dangers of what Teal’c was offering.

Other opportunities, other chances to recapture a past gone wrong in an instant had been wrestled down under arguments both logical and painful. But Jack had known it was the right thing to do in the grand scheme of things being what they should be. But this…this was something that should never have happened in the first place. And he wanted it.

God, how he wanted it.

Teal’c’s eyes had closed while Jack had been lost in the wrestling match between his conscience and his desires. For a moment Jack began to panic, afraid his friend had slipped away quietly and unnoticed. A sudden sighing breath and Jack’s tension released. He wasn’t ready to be left alone with this power, this decision. He needed Teal’c - as he always had - to help refine his desire to act into a plan of action. The moral issues had always been Daniel’s forte, a role Jack had easily and quickly accepted him in, but Jack figured he’d just have to rely on lessons learned in the past. It was up to him to choose to regain the past or let it die once again.

Chapter 5 - Raining Down
Rainy Lake, Minnesota
July 5, 2010
~*~

Teal’c’s moments of clarity and strength grew fewer throughout the night. In bits and pieces Jack heard the story of how Teal’c had been captured by Apophis over Vorash, then tortured and brainwashed to the point that he’d lost himself for over half the time he’d been ‘gone’. Somehow Bra’tac had found Teal’c and performed some weird jaffa thing that had returned Teal’c’s memory and cost the older man his life. Afterward it hadn’t taken much for Teal’c to connect the things he’d seen as First Prime with some judicious spying to learn the truth.

Daniel had been the key to Apophis’ death. By being where he needed to be - where *they* needed him to be - events had fallen into place to bring the entire team to a point over Vorash, with the means to destroy Apophis in the end. Together, as the effective team they'd always been.

Without Daniel Jack had left and therefore Hammond had stayed retired. Vidrine had come and Carter had died. One event, one life, affecting so many others and leading them to the here and now. Leading Jack to a life full of pain and regret, an SGC run by thugs who had the technology they always wanted but had screwed Earth’s good name with every single one of their allies. It was as fucked up a world as Jack could ever have imagined and now it seemed Daniel was the key to making it all right again. Not that Jack had ever thought otherwise.

Idly turning the small, rather unimpressive-looking orb in his hand, Jack pressed the symbols he’d seen Teal’c push earlier. And then Daniel was before him once again, still in his office, still hunched over his desk, still…. no, not working.

Daniel was slumped in his chair, gently stroking the edges of a framed photograph. Sha’re? Jack couldn’t see. Hard as it was, Jack couldn’t find it in his heart to be jealous of Daniel’s grief for his wife, it was too familiar a pain to Jack and one he definitely understood. He wondered just ‘when’ Daniel was, what point in their lives he was witnessing. The hair seemed to indicate the uncharacteristic shortness Daniel had sported for a time after the armband fiasco. Jack had always suspected the cut was a direct reaction to the impression Daniel had made on those fools at O’Malley’s. Jack remembered teasing his friend about it, albeit gently, after they’d gotten Daniel back from his trek with the Unas. It had been a close call Jack could even now feel the vibrations of, and the first stirrings of something he’d run away trying to deny…

And Daniel had died. But Daniel wasn’t supposed to have died. Jack sure as hell didn’t want him to die. Focusing on the bowed head before him, willing the head to move upward, to sigh his name in quiet pleasure once again.

‘God, Jack….’

Not quiet pleasure, not even close. As Jack watched Daniel did turn, revealing eyes that were clearly haunted and a photograph not of Sha’re but of Jack. Closing his eyes against the pain of the image before him, Jack cast his mind back to a time when he’d seen the echoes of that look in Daniel’s eyes after he and Teal’c had nearly died in space. It had been that look, the kiss that had preceded it, and the feelings both had engendered that had driven Jack away to Rainy Lake at full speed - and set into motion the events that led to Daniel’s death by way of Apophis’ time tinkering.

It was hard for Jack to wrap his mind around some future Apophis, seeking out his own death and coming to the conclusion that Daniel was the root of all things deadly for his snaky self. It was too damn subtle for the self-important bastard as Jack had come to know him. Didn’t matter anyway about the how…all that mattered was fixing it.

Jack opened his eyes, watched as Daniel received the phone call that had sent him and Carter off to find Jacob and ultimately come to the rescue. Daniel was smiling when he hung up, just a small, fatalistic gesture that told Jack that Daniel was well aware of the danger he was heading into. But the last look back at the framed photograph on his desk, and the deep sigh that accompanied it, also told Jack that the younger man clearly considered it acceptable risk. Jack stared at the closed door a little longer then thumbed the lec’tal’s controls and shut the image off.

Chapter 6 - In the Right Place
Rainy Lake, Minnesota
July 6, 2010
~*~

Teal’c had passed away silently in the night; in death every bit as dignified and solitary as he had been most of his life. They’d talked more about the lec’tal, about a plan, about a past gone wrong in so may ways all due to the absence of one essential element - Daniel.

Jack smiled a little as he padded the last shovelful of dirt on Teal’c’s grave, beneath the remains of Daniel’s shattered tree. The broken promise of the past now stood witness over the harbinger of the future.

Jack just had to make sure he didn’t screw things up.

With a last look down at Teal’c’s final resting place, Jack swore to his friend that he wouldn’t blow this opportunity. Too much was riding on his success. Too many lives had been wasted and denied their full potential. Too many large and small things were tied into the one event he had been given a chance to change…the one person he’d been given one last, unexpected chance to save.

Teal’c had told him that the lec’tal used DNA to focus on the individual whose life a person wanted to spy on or contact. Apophis had gotten Daniel’s on Naetu, where he had stolen the device from the stash of forbidden toys Bynarr kept for Sokar. Even then Apophis had been planning ahead. Jack didn’t doubt he and Carter had also donated a sample as well during their ‘questioning’. Apophis had probably spent hours spying on each of their lives before finally choosing the one defining event that would destroy them all. Or maybe he’d just chosen to exact his revenge on the one person whom he hated most, then viewed the effects Daniel’s death wrought on the rest of them. It really didn’t matter. Jack held the past and present in his hands, and things were about to change.

Moving back to the porch, Jack leaned the shovel against the wall before picking up his coffee and dropping into a chair. He needed a drink…

But he couldn’t. He needed a clear head if he was to have a prayer of succeeding in his plan. He had a very short time to get his message across and, according to Teal’c, he’d need all his strength to manage it once - twice could possibly kill him.

The plan he and Teal’c had come up with consisted of a one-shot deal to convince his stubborn, repressed past self that not only was Daniel in danger, but Carter was, or would be, the unknowing instrument of his death. He had one, short shot at making that man understand how much losing Daniel at that point in time would affect the future. And all without letting it show - in words or actions - how much Daniel’s loss would affect him personally. If the thought of living without Daniel wasn’t enough to make that O’Neill understand how much he loved Daniel then the asshole deserved to die alone.

Jack laughed into his coffee cup. That asshole *was* dying alone, had been for ten long years. The only difference was - if he had anything to say about it - the *other* O’Neill would have a choice.

Deciding he was hungry, Jack stood and stretched. For the first time in ten years it felt good to be alive, felt like something was waiting over the horizon, felt like the future might hold more than empty bottles and unknowable dreams. It felt…good. With a last look at the mound of earth under the splintered tree, Jack made a promise to the warrior and friend who lay there.

“I won’t blow it, Teal’c. I’ll get Daniel back. For all of us.” Tipping his cup to slosh out the dregs of coffee onto the flowerbed that had been taken over by weeds eight years before, Jack sighed. “I promise, buddy, I won’t blow it.”

Rainy Lake, Minnesota
July 7, 2010
~*~

Dawn cut through the window and woke Jack with an abruptness that only yesterday would have found him cursing. Not today. Today he had something to do, the most important thing he’d ever done.

Sliding out of bed, Jack realized just how far to pot he’d let himself and the cabin go. He needed a shave, looking like he did there was no way that other O’Neill would take himself seriously. Grinning at his own bad pun, Jack padded to the bathroom and looked into the mirror.

He looked like hell…even a shave wasn’t going to help much. Turning on the water, Jack doused his head under the tap, letting the warmth ease away the grunge of sleep and too many nights and days of alcohol-induced haze. Slinging his head back, Jack realized he had no clue what day it was. He hadn’t bothered to buy a calendar in a decade; there never seemed to be a need to mark the time. Grabbing a towel and heading into the living room, Jack booted up his computer before moving on to the kitchen to start coffee and put some sausage biscuits in the microwave.

One good thing ten years had done was to improve the quality of convenience food - the biscuits were better than his mother had ever made and the sausage flavorful and disgustingly healthy. He figured one day he might even break down and trade in his antique microwave for one of the new models Carter on her best day probably couldn’t have explained to him.

The thought of Carter sobered him. He hoped like hell he, or rather the past he, could stop the pseudo-zatarc device from being implanted. That was going to be the hardest part of the plan, convincing himself that Carter was a danger to Daniel.

Moving to his computer, Jack tapped the screen twice over the time/date function. July seventh. Daniel’s birthday was a day away. If he’d lived he would have been a distinguished man in his mid-forties - undoubtedly as sharp as ever, and just as annoyingly stubborn. Jack ached for the time they’d lost. Allowed himself to believe it could be that way for real. If he - both of him - succeeded.

They had to.

Chapter 7 - Reaching Out
Cheyenne Mountain complex
Daniel’s lab
September 20, 2000
~*~

Heading for Daniel’s lab, Jack grumbled to himself on the capriciousness of fate and the myriad of ways a day could go so wrong so quickly. One minute he was reading Teal’c’s latest edition of the worst in tabloid news and the next Daniel was going white and muttering something about his old professor being dead. Pretty gruesomely dead, according to the article.

The briefing had been cancelled and Daniel had disappeared before Jack and Hammond could do much more than offer condolences and agree to leave time so Daniel could attend the funeral the next day. The utter shock on Daniel’s face had been enough to convince both of them that Dr. Jordan had been much more to Daniel than just an instructor. Hammond had been more than understanding, expressing his sympathies with the paternal gentleness he rarely exhibited with anyone except Daniel.

Jack was on his way to give Daniel the flight arrangements Hammond had finagled on his behalf and to offer his own brand of comfort. Things had been more than a little strained between them since the rogue NID team thing and the appendix thing and the replicator thing and a couple of other things they’d been through since Jack’s enforced thinking time drifting out of the solar system on the runaway glider from hell. In that time, Jack had pretty much affirmed in his own mind that Daniel was a very important part of his life - one he had resolved to work harder at.

Knowing Daniel’s shaky history with his former colleagues, Jack was concerned about letting his friend travel back into the academic lion’s den alone. They all had leave while Daniel would be gone, and Jack intended to offer his presence if Daniel needed the back up.

Taking a deep breath, Jack knocked on the door before entering, expecting to find Daniel in hyper mode - his usual method of dealing with stress and deep emotion. Instead, Daniel was sitting on top of a sample case in the corner - his face still, blank, and white, his eyes fixed on absolutely nothing.

Closing the door and moving to Daniel’s side, Jack hitched one leg up until he was mostly sitting beside Daniel on the case. Jack simply sat there, waiting for Daniel to come back from wherever his memories and his grief had taken him.

“He was a special man…” Daniel’s quiet voice proclaimed.

Jack nodded; he’d already known that. For Daniel to be this obviously upset he’d known Jordan had to be a damn sight more than special.

“When I left…I thought…” Daniel’s head dropped in frustration, one hand scrubbing through his hair as the other searched the air for words. “I don’t really know what I thought,” Daniel said as his hands dropped and he let his head lean back against the wall, eyes closed. “I thought I was protecting him when…”

Jack just nodded again, it didn’t do to push Daniel; he definitely had to travel is own convoluted path when it came to discussing his past.

“I never even told him goodbye, Jack…”

Daniel sounded so lost, so completely regretful, that Jack couldn’t help himself. He reached his arm around the younger man’s shoulders and drew him close. A slight stiffening of Daniel’s body made Jack think he’d made a wrong move, pushed too soon, but after a moment Daniel relaxed and leaned into the comfort and support Jack silently offered.

It felt…good to know he was one the few - and the very proud - that Daniel called friend. A group that could likely be counted on one hand that Daniel had so gradually come to rely on. Jack mentally kicked himself for letting that closeness fade, for not working harder to make sure they were okay.

With his free hand Jack touched Daniel’s cheek, stroking gently. It was always so easy to offer comfort to Daniel. So damn easy.

Daniel sighed against him, sniffling once on the inhalation, still holding on and holding back. Jack tightened his grip on Daniel’s shoulder and opened the hand on his cheek to pull him closer. This was so rare, so precious. Just like Daniel was…

A rush of emotion washed over Jack with the thought - the certain knowledge - that the man in his arms was, and had been for a long time, as essential to his life as breathing. The heightened emotion of close calls and the enforced distance of duty had just been ways to hide from a truth he hadn’t fully recognized until this moment. Riding the wave of his awakened feelings, Jack bent his head to touch his lips to Daniel’s forehead. His hands moved of their own accord to bring Daniel’s face up, to bring him closer, to touch his lips with Jack’s own and lose himself there.

Another hesitation, Daniel holding back once again, as Jack slid his hands over the warm hardness of Daniel’s body with the determination and desire he could no longer hold back now that it had been acknowledged. With a moan that may have been Jack’s name, Daniel opened to Jack in a way that could almost have been a surrender if Jack wasn’t so sure it was he who was doing the surrendering.

And then he didn’t care.

It didn’t matter.

All that mattered was Daniel.

Daniel, warm and willing in his arms and returning his passion with all the intensity Jack could ever have suspected he’d possess and more. It was so good so completely right…

But also wrong.

This was Daniel. The man was his teammate, his friend, his…

The man…

Jack stiffened suddenly and pulled away, almost choking on the shock of the intensity of his own feelings of desire for his very, very male friend who was looking at him now with the beginnings of confused hurt in his eyes. What could Jack say now? How could he explain?

Years of training pulled him away.

The discipline of his profession carried him to the door.

The confusion of his conflicting emotions let him look back…

Before the prejudice of his lifetime carried him through it and into the corridor to slump against the wall.

Oh, God…what had he just done?

A sharp crash inside the lab almost overrode his instinct to run, but the lost and broken voice calling his name - just once - pushed him off the wall and up the stairs in a panic of frustrated desire and self castigation he knew he’d be a long time getting over. If he ever did.

Not only had he just challenged everything he’d ever believed about himself, but he’d almost certainly lost his best friend.

Chapter 8 - This Sinking Soul
Rainy Lake, Minnesota
July 7, 2010
~*~

Jack had spent the day getting his thoughts together. He’d written what he called his de facto will, along with a full explanation of what he was about to do, and attached it to a timed email to Fraiser. She was the one person left in the world he trusted to come and take care of things - and destroy the lec’tal - if the worst should happen.

Teal’c had been very specific about the danger Jack was about to put himself in. The energy drain alone could kill him. Teal’c had warned Jack to eat and have high energy food and drink ready for when he finished.

The reason the lec’tal had become forbidden technology among the System Lords was the danger to the user. The goa’uld cared about nothing else quite so much as their own asses. Even their overwhelming greed bowed beneath the power of death. Jack supposed Apophis just had more hate than he had sense.

His speech was prepared, arguments he might or might not need. He’d chosen his moment carefully, dredging among his memories for the one moment he was sure his past self would be alone after the epiphany in Daniel’s lab. He was selfish enough to want to be after that moment, after the kiss that had rocked his worldview so deeply that he’d run away to escape it and shut Daniel out when he’d needed Jack most, even though neither of them could have known it at the time. Jack hoped the risk would pay off in the end; it was definitely cutting things close.

The one thing he couldn’t do was change the mission. Carter and Fraiser still had to go with Daniel to Egypt. He just had to put things back on track, not alter the order of events. Removing Apophis’ agent would level the playing field of time, and as much as he despised allowing Daniel to suffer the pain of the ribbon device and the loss of his friend, Jack knew it was necessary. That O’Neill had to go away as Jack had before and had to remain unaware of everything but the fact that Daniel was in immediate danger form Apophis and that Carter would be the instrument of that danger.

Moving to the sofa, Jack took a deep breath. He was as ready as he would ever be and yet…

He was scared.

At this very moment, Jack was as afraid as he had ever been of a physical enemy. So much could still go wrong. It wasn’t as if he had anything to lose, but he still couldn’t help worrying that somehow he might make things worse. Scratching his cheek and leaning back on the couch, Jack stared at the lec’tal and remembered the moment in Daniel’s lab, remembered the ache in his heart when the phone call had come telling him Daniel was dead. All the objections had melted away, all the reasons his mind had come up with to make him believe being with Daniel was wrong had instantly become irrelevant in the face of the unalterable fact that Daniel was dead. Gone forever from the heart that knew what it meant to love Daniel, and had still thrown it all away.

If there was any justice left in the universe, he wouldn’t throw it away again.

Sighing, Jack picked up the lec’tal and lay back on the sofa, scooting around on the lumpy cushions until he was as comfortable as he knew he was going to get. Teal’c had shown him how to remove one of the panels on the device and where to deposit the drop of blood that would calibrate the lec’tal to his DNA. Jack had made sure it would still tune in on Daniel. If his plan worked and he was still alone then he wanted the option to at least look in on Daniel, to know with his own eyes the man he loved was alive and well somewhere on the planet.

Of course, there was no guarantee that Jack would remember any of this if - when - he succeeded. He vaguely remembered Carter’s lectures when they’d all landed in 1969. The grandfather paradox about changing the past - and he was blowing that one all to hell - as well as the ‘currents and eddies of time’ conversation they’d had while trying to get drunk the night they’d made it home. It hadn’t worked, they couldn’t forget the fate they’d left their friend Michael to and the many things they’d resisted the temptation to change - Carter’s mother, Daniel’s parent’s, Jack’s son. There were so many heartbreaks they could have saved themselves from with a few well-placed notes or phone calls. And God had it been tempting….

This situation though, Jack justified to himself by viewing it as righting the wrongs Apophis had set in motion. Jack was just using a cosmic reset button to put things back as they belonged - to put Daniel back where he belonged.

With a sigh, Jack realized he was stalling and grinned at his own foolishness. It was time to get this show on the road, waiting wouldn’t make it any easier. Activating the lec’tal, Jack sent a mental message to his younger self, ‘Zip your pants, flyboy. You’re about to get a big surprise…’

Cheyenne Mountain complex
Storeroom 12, level 26
September 20, 2000
~*~

Jack stroked himself roughly, punishingly, trying and failing to erase the image of Daniel from his mind, trying desperately to replace his warm, willing face with the image of Carter in the briefing room - just before she turned him down. It wasn’t working, the harder he tried to put the smell and feel and taste of Daniel away the stronger it became.

Daniel was all he wanted, all he needed, but it was Daniel so it was wrong…

Not wrong.

So wrong.

Never wrong.

Daniel…

Jack bit his lip to keep from crying out the name as he came all over his hand, release washing over him. Sliding down the wall, he felt closer to crying than he had in years.

He was so far beyond fucked up...

Grabbing a rag off the shelf beside him Jack wiped his hands and crotch, sniffing back the manic laughter that threatened to erupt at his unintentional joke. Jack had been hiding in here since the meeting, trying like hell to avoid running into Daniel until he could be sure he was gone.

They all had a whole week off, and Teal’c had been railroaded into going to Rainy Lake with him by default. Jack sure as hell wasn’t going alone, not like this. He needed to get away and think, and he knew if he went alone he’d wind up pretty much as he was now - jerking off with the vision of his best friend in his mind and heart, indulging the fantasy instead of trying to deal with it.

And he had to deal with it. No way was Daniel going to forget this, no way. If Jack knew the other man at all, and he did, Daniel was even now beating himself up for it.

Jack wished…

Hell, it didn’t matter what he wished. Daniel was gone, probably already over the Mississippi by now. Jack had told Teal’c to be ready the next morning to head for the lake and there was an entire night ahead to try to get through. An entire night to remember…

Jack felt his cock fill again even as he tried to push away the memory that fueled it. He wanted to blame it on Daniel, wanted to put this ‘thing’ away and forget it ever happened, but his body remembered. His lips, his cock, his arms, his heart… they remembered. God, how they remembered. Jack touched himself again, his mind imagining other long, slender fingers in place of his own….

Oh, God…

A bright glow in the corner caused him to pause. As it grew brighter Jack jumped up and stuffed himself back into his pants, catching himself painfully in the zipper.

“Oh, fuck…”

The glow solidified into a face that was familiar - but not. He sure as hell knew the laugh, though…

“Got a problem there, ‘big guy’?”

Chapter 9 - Against the Wind
Cheyenne Mountain complex
Storeroom 12, level 26
September 20, 2000
~*~

It was him - sort of.

Older, harder, damn near all silver.

But it was definitely him. Shimmering like a ghost in the corner, leaning - sort of - against the wall in a pose Jack knew all to well was his own.

Jack finished putting his clothes back together, but didn’t bother asking the obvious. He strolled up to the image, swiping his hand through the glow watching his older image sputtered then re-solidified.

“Cut that out. You think I’ve got all day for you to screw around?”

Jack shook his head, it sure sounded like him.

“Of course I sound like you. I *am* you. Sort of.” The image leaned forward, hands moving to his sides. “Look, Jack, I need you to listen and not interrupt, I don’t have much time here. It may already be too late.”

Too late? That got Jack’s attention. It occurred to him he should be a little leery of his glowing self, but too many years of strangeness had left him pretty blasé when it came to weird visitors. Still…

“How do I know you’re you…me…you?”

The ghost Jack grimaced, eyes going dark in a way Jack knew all too well. “How about I tell you what happened between you and Daniel - oh, about three hours ago? Or why you’re sitting here in the dark with your dick in your hand?”

Jack flushed and nodded. “Okay, okay. Got it. You’re you. Me…”

“Give the brainless act a rest, flyboy, we’ve got work to do. If you don’t stop it, tonight, Daniel is going to die.”

Knowing himself, Jack knew the absolute truth of that statement, and he didn’t miss the skip in his other self’s voice when he said it, but Daniel couldn’t die…it just wasn’t a Daniel thing.

“Yeah, he will. And Carter will be the one to do it if you don’t stop it.”

Jack shook his head. “Now that’s just…”

“Will you shut up and listen?” The ghost Jack was standing straight up, hands in front of him as if he wanted to reach out and shake Jack. “Apophis got hold of this technology that let him see into the future. I can’t tell you why but Daniel was - is - a risk to him. So he sent - will send - someone to put one of those zatarc things - but different - in Carter. Three guesses who she’s supposed to kill?”

It was just too much. Carter killing Daniel? Jack sat down on a crate. “How…?”

“I can’t tell you how she did - will do - it. Just trust me, she does. And she never knows it. It’ll look like an accident, a screw up. You just have to stop the guy Apophis sends to implant it and let time take its course.”

“When?”

“Tonight, that’s all I know.” The other Jack sighed. “You have to stop it without her knowing, or anyone else, and then go to the lake tomorrow like you’re supposed to. It’s important, Jack. You’ve got no idea how important.”

And Jack could see that it was. Hell, he knew it was. Whatever else was going on between them, Jack knew how important to the project Daniel was, how important to him. Damned if he’d let Apophis take him away.

Jack nodded to himself. “Tell me what to do…”

Cheyenne Mountain complex
Corridor C, level 28
~*~

Peeking out of the door across from Carter’s lab, Jack yawned. It he’d known he was going to do a stake out tonight, he would have drunk more coffee. And skipped the jerking off in the storeroom. Sex always made him sleepy. He wonder if it made Daniel…

Shit.

‘Get your brain out of your pants, O’Neill. Whether it does or doesn’t, you’ll never know.’

All the time he’d been waiting, Jack had been doing a lot of thinking. If - no, dammit, when - he stopped this plot to kill Daniel, Jack was going to beg forgiveness. He didn’t expect it, but he was going to ask. They’d just got their friendship back and he decided that was the important thing. Just keeping Daniel alive and being his friend. That would be enough. Jack wasn’t sure if he was ready to be more than that to Daniel, he might never know, but the plain fact was he needed Daniel in his life and that was one thing that wasn’t going to change.

A sound in the corridor took him back to the cracked door. Siler coming out of Carter’s lab, wiping the grease from his hands. Jack smiled; he wasn’t supposed to know about the motorcycle Carter had tucked away in there so he played along and pretended not to. He wasn’t sure why she’d brought it into the mountain, but as long as she wasn’t fitting it with a naquada generator he was okay with it. Hell, he was just glad the major had a hobby that didn’t include work.

And that she had the sense he didn’t and had turned him down. He couldn’t imagine the mess he’d be in now if he also had her feelings to factor into his own for Daniel. For a guy who’d been alone for five years, he was sure getting a workout in the emotion department. Carter and Daniel both were special people to him in their own ways, but the feelings he had kissing Daniel were a hell of a lot different from the ones he’d had kissing Carter during the time loop.

Worlds away.

Galaxies.

Light years….

Jack found his mind wandering back to the kiss. It blew his mind that just the thought of it could bring his body to complete and instant arousal. He’d had his share of lovers in his life, but this was a new experience for him. One kiss. Less than five minutes between the thought of Daniel as a lover and the kiss and his walking out the door, but he was as sure as he had ever been of anything in his life, that those five minutes had changed him forever.

He was so fucking screwed…

Chapter 10 - Unfolding
Rainy Lake, Minnesota
July 8, 2010
~*~

Sunlight was streaming through the windows when Jack woke, as stiff as if he’d run for days, and hungry. Ravenous, in fact…

Reaching out a hand to the food on the coffee table he grabbed the first item he came to and wolfed it down without even looking to see what it was. It wasn’t enough. Grabbing the next item, chocolate by the feel of it, he inhaled it too then reached for the high-energy drink. By the time he finished that he was able to open his eyes fully and sit up.

Shit…this was worse than any hangover he’d ever been intimate with in his life. He was too damn old for this.

And the worst part was he still didn’t know if he’d managed to convince his past self of the danger to Daniel. He thought he had. But only time would tell.

Goddamn time.

Leaning his aching head back, Jack drank some more juice. All he could do now was wait.

And hope.

Hope had been a stranger to him for a long time. Ten long years without hope, without Daniel, and his heart hurt at the feelings it brought with it now. This had to work; he couldn’t stand to lose Daniel again.

And it would be just like losing him all over. The planning with Teal’c, speaking with his past self - knowing what the man had been doing when he appeared - had stirred up memories Jack had thought well and truly buried. The memory of that day with Daniel, the memory of the physical rush that one kiss had been.

Even now he felt it, stirring his cock and filling him with all the longing and desire he’d felt at that moment. He let himself bask in it, let the tingling, aching need for Daniel wash over him in a glow he hadn’t felt in all the drunken self-gratification he’d indulged in over the years. That had been sensation laced with self-loathing, this was - God - this was Daniel.

Closing his eyes, Jack just let the emotion be, let himself absorb the almost palpable presence of his love and let it carry him along into a joy he’d never expected to know again…

Cheyenne Mountain complex
Corridor C, level 28
September 21, 2000
~*~

Jack jerked his head up for the third time in as many minutes. Didn’t Carter ever sleep? It was 0-dark-thirty and the shift change would be piling in soon. Not to mention he was supposed to ‘pick up’ Teal’c in less than four hours. He was starting to figure the ghost guy from the future didn’t know what the hell he was talking about….

A click-whine from the corridor was so far out of place; it drove all thoughts of sleep from his head. This was it. He didn’t even have to look to know it. Pulling the zat he’d appropriated from the armory he activated it before opening the door a crack.

Sure enough, there was a guy with a zat and some other device in his hand. Big goober, dark clothes, obviously goa’uld in style and cut. The corridor was too dim, but Jack was sure he’d see a big, snaky emblem on the guy’s forehead.

Slipping the door open by slow degrees, Jack held the zat up and ready. This was going to be close. He had to get the guy before he got into Carter’s lab. No one could know about this but him…and him, the other him. He needed just a few more inches to get a clear shot, three shots and no one would ever know.

And then the door squeaked.

The jaffa swung around at the sound, zat raising and firing even as Jack threw the door open and dove, sending off his own shot even as he knew he wouldn’t fully dodge the one aimed at him.

He hit the ground to the accompanying tingle of the glancing shot that threatened to paralyze him. He couldn’t pass out, had to look…

The jaffa was down, not unconscious either, recovering and working to bring his weapon up again….

Jack clipped off another shot, sighing as the man lay still. Pulling himself painfully to his feet, Jack fired the third round and watched as the jaffa disappeared…not even bothering to look at the face of the man he just killed. It didn’t matter. Daniel was safe now, at least from this threat. And Carter…

The door was opening.

Jack deactivated the zat and pushed it into the back of his belt even as the door opened fully and Carter looked out, welders goggles pushed up on her forehead. At least he knew now why she hadn’t heard anything.

She jumped a little at seeing Jack standing there in the corridor. He knew he had to look a little flushed and tried to control his heavy breathing before she thought he was some sort of stalker.

“Sir?”

Clearing his dry throat, Jack tried to sound normal. “Carter?”

She smiled a little, eyes wide in inquiry. “Is there something I can do for you, colonel?”

“Ah…no, no…Just taking a walk, Carter. I’m a little early to pick up Teal’c.”

Glancing at her watch, Carter gave him a confused smile. “A little, sir. The crappies will still be there.”

Jack tried to smile; at this moment he could care less about the crappies. “Yeah, I know. Just really want to get this show on the road.” And that was perfectly true. Whatever the hell was going to happen, he wanted it over. Wanted Daniel back safe and sound where he belonged.

“Yes, sir. Goodnight, sir.” Carter started back into her lab with a bemused smile, she wasn’t buying a word of it but she was far too well-trained to question him.

“Good morning, Carter.” He started to walk away, hoping the zat under his jacket was well-hidden. “Oh, and Carter?”

“Sir?”

“We have had the get a life talk, right?”

She smiled then. “Yes, sir. Working on it, sir.”

Jack nodded as she closed the door, if he weren’t so damn tired he’d have her on about the bike a little. But, hell, he had to drive to Minnesota in less than four hours…he needed coffee.

Chapter 11 - The Circle’s End
Rainy Lake, Minnesota
September 22, 2000
~*~

He’d never been so antsy in his life.

His other self hadn’t said, but he had a strong feeling that whatever was going to happen to Daniel would have happened now. While he was away.

Daniel’s call the day before had been awkward; there was so much he wanted to say and couldn’t not yet, and sure as hell not over the phone with Teal’c looming over him like a mosquito-bitten mountain of concern. Teal’c had known from the first day that something was weighing on Jack’s mind. He hadn’t exactly pushed, but he’d done what Jack assumed was the jaffa equivalent of being ‘there’ for him. It was scary whatever it was.

He’d thrown the phone away in frustration but had gone later to find it and put it back together again, making sure it worked before giving it back to Teal’c. If he’d kept it, Jack knew he wouldn’t be able to resist calling to see what the hell was going on. He wasn’t sure why but he knew he couldn’t do that. He had to wait. Whatever was going on had to play out on its own. Just the same he’d packed his bag this morning. When whatever happened - happened - he didn’t want to waste time in getting home.

Home. God, he wanted to be there so bad he ached for it. He needed to be there…

He needed Daniel.

All the waiting had helped him work out the fear he’d felt. He’d spent a long time in the military, but outside of a few high-tension gropings there hadn’t been anything like what he’d felt for Daniel.

Still felt.

Knew now he would always feel.

Problem was, he’d hurt Daniel. He knew it. Knew he’d have to work hard and long making it right. But damned if he wouldn’t do it. Come jaffa troops or pissed off archaeologists…he’d do it.

Cheyenne Mountain Complex
Infirmary
September 23, 2000
~*~

Daniel looked like shit.

Actually he looked like wonderful shit. He was alive, that was all that mattered. Jack didn’t know and didn’t care anymore what would have happened. Daniel was alive.

Pissed as hell, as expected, but alive.

Once Carter, Fraiser, Teal’c and Hammond had their turns at him, Jack had shooed them all out of the room. They were all very aware that their ailing charge was ticked with his CO and, knowing him as they did, hastened out of the line of fire without so much as a glance at the condemned.

Blue eyes glared from the pale, blotched face as Daniel struggled to keep his eyes open against the light. Jack moved to the lamp and turned the shade until the glare was muted, allowing Daniel to open his eyes wider without pain and treating Jack to the full meal deal that was the wrath of an angry Daniel Jackson.

“So…” Jack began lamely.

One well-defined eyebrow rose in a Teal’c imitation that would have done the big guy proud. “So?” Daniel’s voice was scratchy from the bruising Osiris had dealt him while attempting to throttle him.

Jack pulled the bedside stool closer, making a long production of sitting as he stalled for time to eat crow with as little pain as possible. Finally settling and having nothing else to do, Jack looked Daniel in the eye. “I am a jackass.”

Daniel nodded agreement, waiting.

“I’m a repressed jackass.”

Another nod, Daniel’s eyes weren’t giving anything away.

“I’m a repressed jackass with no class.?”

A quirk of the lips along with a nod - progress.

Jack leaned in closer, fingers stroking lightly along Daniel’s cheek. “I’m a repressed jackass with no class who loves you more than anything in the goddamn world. Okay?”

Daniel blinked, eyes filling with things Jack didn’t need words to hear, and reached his own shaky hand up to close over Jack’s.

“Okay…’ he whispered.

With a smile of relief and a feeling of coming home at last, Jack leaned forward to kiss Daniel lightly, then deeper as he was sure he wouldn’t cause Daniel more pain. The physical reaction was just as immediate and just as deep as the one days before…but better this time because they knew where they stood. The other kiss had been a slamming open of doors - this, this was a promise and a dedication. This kiss held forever and beyond and Jack knew that was all he had ever wanted, and ever would. Daniel was smiling when they parted, eyes wicked with mischief.

“Just the world, Jack?”

Rainy Lake, Minnesota
July 8, 2010
~*~

Jack was dreaming dreams of Daniel. Of nights and days of love, of danger and coming together after as if it were the first time all over again. Of hope and loss and holding strong to one another because that was all they had. And it was okay that it was, it was everything.

Pulse after pulse, wave after wave of love and making love, surrendering and giving until they no longer knew or cared where one ended and the other began. Sharing the joys and sharing the pain, getting through together because that was when they were the strongest - damn near unbeatable. Hell, they were unbeatable.

Jack woke with tears in his eyes, wanting Daniel, not wanting to wake up again if he could stay in the safety of his dreams.

But….

The cabin was different. More like home, more like…

Eclectic sculptures lined bookshelves full of volumes Jack knew he’d never owned. A piano stood in one corner, small and ornate, that should have been out of place but somehow wasn’t. Soft music played from the bedroom and the smell of something cooking finally penetrated Jack’s senses.

Looking down at himself, Jack was shocked to see he was wearing different clothes than he remembered going to sleep in. The coffee table was cleared of the food and drink bottles he’d left there, and the orb was - gone.

Footsteps from the hall drew his attention and Jack froze. It couldn’t be…God, it just couldn’t be…

“Jack, have you seen my…”

It was. It was Daniel. Distinguished grey highlighting his temples, laugh lines and light wrinkles altering the beloved face only slightly. Daniel. Here. The books, the piano, all the things out of place yet in place…

“Jack? You okay?” Daniel moved to Jack’s side, reaching for his face in concern and yes, it was there, love.

With a nod, Jack searched for his voice. The dream. Not a dream. They’d done it. Somehow they’d done it and the bastard he’d been had found the balls to tell Daniel how he felt. Memories fell into place, overwriting if not erasing the life Jack had accepted as his own for so long.

The dream was now reality and with every passing moment there was more and more to remember. More laughter, more love…Jack remembered it all. Carter’s wedding to Faxon, visiting just a few weeks ago with them and their two kids. Surprising Hammond on his book tour, the retired general had made a successful career in adventure novels that were putting his granddaughters through grad school. Chulakian ambassador Teal’c was due onworld any minute now and they were all going to meet him at the big shindig planned for Daniel’s birthday. Cassie and R’yac were bringing the baby and Daniel and gotten them a gift. Doc Fraiser, no Doc Siler, was expecting her first but swore she wouldn’t miss it for anything. General Davis was coming, along with Colonel Ferretti and the rest of the SGC crew.

And Daniel was…

Kissing him.

Wiping away the tears in Jack’s eyes and looking at him in loving concern. “What’s wrong, Jack?”

Jack was still having trouble finding his voice, answering instead with a kiss. It was real, this was real. Daniel and him. Together. Semi-retired consultants to the SGC, having turned down command after one close call too many. Openly wedded in a more enlightened world than the one that had sent Jack running after their first kiss. Together from the day they’d come so close to losing it all. Closer, Jack knew, than Daniel would ever know.

Pulling the slender body to him, Jack just held on. Daniel’s hands ran over him, igniting fires along his nerves he’d never expected to feel outside of his dreams, fires he now knew had never died in ten years of loving. Every time was like the first, every touch as precious as the last.

His Daniel. Always and ever his.

Jack laughed for the pure joy of it, and kissed Daniel between his very confused eyes. “Just being the jackass who loves you more than anything in the world.”

Daniel’s smile lit the room, the memory tangible for both of them. Leaning in, Daniel stroked a hand along Jack’s crotch, eyes taking on a seductive glow both new and old to Jack - and so well loved.

“Just the world, Jack?”

Remembering the shadows of the life he’d led for ten years and been given a second chance to live, Jack shook his head and created the first new memory of his new life.

“Every world, Daniel. Every goddamn one of them…”

*fin*