Title: Wish I May
Date: December 9, 2001
Author: JayEm
Email: Jay_Em5@yahoo.com
Status: Complete
Rating: NC17
Category: Slash, first-time
Pairing: J/D
Disclaimer: Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate
(II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and
Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money
exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original
characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story
may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.
Spoilers: 100 Days
Summary: Inspired by the Leonids...and Ankh on IM <g>.
Notes: This is a joint birthday fic for Ankh and Rowan with sincere wishes they won’t mind sharing….

Wish I May
By JayEm

It was…nice, Jack reflected. Not just the stars - and the Leonids were putting on a hell of a show - but also the company.

Jack let his eyes slide from the stars above them to the man lying on the sleeping bag beside him. It wasn’t as if they hadn’t been in this position before - mere inches apart on the cold ground, wakeful in the middle of a cold night and staring at stars in companionable silence - but this was…nice.

They weren’t on a mission, weren’t keeping one hand near weapons just in case; it was just the two of them laid back on air cushion pillows and sleeping bags, bundled in layers against the cold just so they could share the silent, awesome beauty of the universe at work.

With a half-smile, Jack found himself inordinately pleased that Daniel’s outermost layer was his own battered leather jacket, the one he’d had so long it fit like a second skin. Funny how it also fit Daniel in all the right places too - so well in fact Jack had already planned to track down another like it for Daniel’s Christmas present this year. Not that he minded Daniel borrowing his, not at all. Especially when Jack knew the distinctive scent of Daniel, and his equally unique cologne, would linger on it for weeks afterward.

Less than three weeks before, Jack had given up hope of ever finding his way home again. It had taken the prospect of a future apart from Earth and apart from Daniel to make Jack all too painfully aware of where ‘home’ really was. It was hard not to remember the isolation of Edora with the bright plumes burning their way across the sky. This was hardly on the same scale: the stars were the comfortable and familiar ones he’d always known, and the night was definitely colder than the balmy one on Edora that had heralded his enforced exile. But it wasn’t just the streaks of light flaring above him that sparked memories of so many lonely nights on Edora, it was the memory of missing a certain shy smile, a certain tone of affectionate exasperation, a certain glint of gentle teasing - and a really, really cute butt - that had invaded his melancholy. Every detail of every moment he and Daniel had spent together since stumbling through the gate onto Abydos had replayed itself in living Technicolor day after day, night after night until he no longer wanted to deny what he was feeling. Until he’d taken to wishing on stars and rowing downriver to find the peace he needed to remember - and to dream.

He’d driven himself hard trying to find a way home, knowing with utter certainty that his friends would never willingly give up. Even his dreams had taken him home, home to a place where Daniel held him and loved him back. Yes, he’d given into the needs of his body, and the need Laira professed for a child to complete the missing part of her life, but at the moment of release it hadn’t been Laira’s face he’d seen or her name he’d had to bite his lip bloody to keep from shouting.

Less than two days later, Teal’c’s voice had sounded out of the comm unit like the voice of an angel telling him he could go home again - and he’d torn his hands raw getting Teal’c out of the hole that was his path to freedom.

Once they’d unearthed the gate and gotten it upright again, Jack had just know - he’d just known - that the first face he’d see come out of it was Daniel’s. And it had been. Pale, drawn, exhausted, but smiling and so obviously relieved it was all Jack could do not to reach out to him. Carter had come directly after and a group hug had satisfied, however temporarily, his need for touch. Words had tumbled out, one after the other, in a rush of the four of them to share their separate stories. The gist of it all was: Jack was going home.

Home. Jack smiled again. Home was less than a foot away, his eyes hidden behind glasses reflecting the trails of stars. The crease above the glasses and the slightly open mouth told Jack that his companion was as enrapt in the celestial display as he ever was by the painstakingly deciphered languages of antiquity…and the knowledge made Jack inordinately pleased with himself.

It didn’t matter if they never had more than this, small moments of shared peace and the easy silence of deep understanding. However much his body cried for action and the physical expression of his feelings, having Daniel in his life in any capacity was far too important. Nothing mattered more.

Letting his eyes return to the heavens, Jack sighed. His resolve was firm, but too much Daniel-watching nearly always resulted in feats of self-control he’d rather thought his libido unable to perform anymore.

A particularly bright dust trail made him smile and he looked over to see if Daniel had noticed….only to realize Daniel had fallen asleep. The younger man had shifted slightly to his right side, facing Jack, and his glasses were slipping slowly toward his hairline as he slid further and further down the pillow.

Carter and Fraiser had both reported Daniel haunting the halls of the SGC like a displaced spirit, wandering about at all hours even when duty didn’t require him to be there. Carter had gotten a steady supply of food and coffee as a result as she worked on the particle accelerator that would eventually bring him home, but Fraiser had reported Daniel hadn’t taken nearly as good care of himself, passing out from hypoglycemia toward the end of the second month and having the good doctor on his tail thereafter until the gate had finally been reopened to Edora.

Reaching out tentatively to remove Daniel’s glasses, Jack was careful not to wake him. It was harder than Jack could have imagined not to let his hand linger, not to touch the soft hair and warm skin his hand hovered bare millimeters above. So he didn’t. It was only a light caress, the barest whisper of calloused fingers over soft flesh, but Daniel stirred and shifted into the warmth like a homing beacon, scooting his body forward the few inches it took to bring him nestling into Jack’s side. Jack froze in place, one hand still upraised where Daniel’s tuck and roll had left it. With an inward moan, Jack both relished the contact - and the comfort level it implied - and dreaded it. He wasn’t made of stone and, but, therefore the position he found himself in was making parts of him very hard indeed.

He’d wanted to be here, like this, with Daniel, for so very long. He’d wanted so much to feel the warm soft-solid weight against him, and his body reacted with the naturalness of long-withheld desire and his arms ached to close around Daniel and draw him close. With a sigh, Jack let his hand fall across Daniel’s shoulders, an easily explainable - and perfectly plausible - platonic position if Daniel should wake. He had to put his hand somewhere after all, although there were lots of other places he would have preferred. With a little judicious scooting he managed to get his crotch out of extreme proximity and concentrated on discouraging his cock from conducting its own heat-seeking exercises.

That done, Jack lay back with a long breath and let his mind wander down paths he knew weren’t particularly wise to give it access to. But…

Daniel was in his arms, half-sprawled across his chest, warm breath creating a stir of rushing blood and emotion as it ghosted across Jack’s neck and chest. Daniel was here, oblivious though he might be, and it was too near perfect for Jack to fight his dreams. It was so easy to imagine this was the way life could be, so easy to believe that every morning of his life could begin this way, every night could find him sated and snuggled against the one person in this world or any other who had the power to make him happy. So easy. So right. If only….

Without thinking Jack dipped his head down to touch his lips to the soft hair resting below his chin. He caught himself, pulling back in shock at the liberties he’d let himself take with his vulnerable friend. It wasn’t right…he couldn’t do this. His muscles tensed, preparatory to slipping away in his shame and self-disgust…when Daniel sighed.

“Jack..?” A soft nuzzle against his neck made Jack pause, not believing what he was hearing or feeling.

Then Daniel kissed him.

No light nuzzle this time, this was a solid nibbling kiss against his collarbone and Jack felt as if a dam had broken inside him. He’d been fighting for weeks against himself, trying so hard to not screw things up between them, fighting his own instincts and his own body not to act on his feelings. And here Daniel was, calling Jack’s name in his sleep and very clearly not mistaking him for any former lover. It could be coincidental, could be the ramblings of an exhausted mind caught between sleep and reality, blending the two. It could be…

Fuck.

Jack had to know. If it was blown it was blown, but the torture of not knowing was just too unbearable.

Taking a deep breath he caught the seeking head and brought it upward, meeting those soft lips with his own and diving into the rush of feeling he knew he was risking everything for. It was sensory overload - warm, wet, soft, hard, forceful, gentle - it was freaking perfect.

Jack moaned low in his throat, knowing it couldn’t last…couldn’t ever be more than a dream….

And felt Daniel’s hands come up to grasp his head, bringing him closer, meeting his seeking tongue and body, pushing him back against the ground with a singular focus that made Jack gasp in shock. Daniel couldn’t…

Could he?

As much as he never wanted this kiss to end, he had to know.

Pushing back gently against the shoulders that had somehow managed to pin his own to the ground, Jack looked up into Daniel’s eyes. Even in the dim starlight he could see Daniel was wide-awake now - as if the erection pressing against his hip hadn’t already made him pretty sure - and smiling, slyly, the smile that never failed to make its way into every secret place of Jack’s heart and soul. The smile he’d dreamed of so long on Edora, and had needed so much to see again.

“Daniel?” he whispered.

Daniel’s head tilted in question. “Problem, Jack?”

Oh, now the man was teasing. Smugly. “No…no problem. Just wanted to make sure you were….”

“Awake? Sure of who I was kissing? In love with you? All of the above?” Daniel’s voice was soft and almost-sure but Jack knew it for the bluff it was. Knew Daniel had been doing his own soul-searching in the time they’d been apart and had reached the same conclusions Jack had. Probably faster, damn him.

“Um…All would be…good…”

“All, definitely all…” Soft lips bent down to touch Jack’s again, then withdrew. “That, ah, okay with you?”

Jack’s heart jumped in his chest, floodgates of restraint crashing away in a rush of knowing his heart was in the best of hands. “More than okay, Daniel. Way more than okay.”

Permission having been obliquely asked and granted, Jack pulled Daniel back to him, diving once again into the lips and mouth he knew had been made just for him. The universe was a wonderfully forgiving place and he’d been given this chance he had no intention of ever taking for granted again. It wouldn’t be easy, nothing would ever be easy again, but he was home now. All the way home and he hadn’t even gotten to second base yet…but he knew. Daniel knew. And the stars flashed above them unheeded as they progressed in their silent affirmation.

Withdrawing for breath, Jack had a sudden thought. “Hey…we never made a wish….”

Daniel’s warm breath tickled across his nose in a bare chuckle. “Don’t need to, Jack.”

Flipping them over and rubbing his crotch purposefully against Daniel’s, Jack laughed in return. It was true. Everything he could and had wished for on every star above Earth and Edora was right here in his arms. He couldn’t think of a damn thing else he wanted or needed. Who needed wishes when reality was warm and willing and looking like the answer to every mystery of the universe?

Who the hell needed anything else?

*fin*