Title: ACE O'NEILL STAYS FOCUSED AND AVOIDS A TANGENT
Author: Tenaya
Pairing: Jack/Daniel
Category: A/U, Humor, Missing Scene, Parody.
ACE O'NEILL SERIES: III

Teal'c was about to panic. He had never before been in such a fix as he was now. The disabled and out–of–control death–glider was racing a million miles an hour into deep space. Hell, not only was Teal'c about to panic, he could tell from the agitation in his pouch that his symbiote was about to loose it, too. He was about to test the Tau'ri saying of 'in space, no one can hear you scream', when the deep, commanding voice of Colonel Jack O'Neill shocked him back from the edge.

"Steady on, Teal'c."

Teal'c craned his head around until he could catch sight of his friend's reflection in the glider's canopy. The silvery hair caught the light from a thousand distant suns and shone like the finest metal. Square–jawed and with a rakish smile, Jack caught sight of Teal'c's reflection and gave him a quick, confident wink that promised the big Jaffa that they'd make it out of this alive.

The radio crackled with static and a message from Earth. It was Carter and she sounded close to tears.

"Colonel, I had an idea that you could use Jupiter to slingshot around to bring you back to Earth, but now I think it won't work. My calculations say it is impossible!"

Daniel could be heard in the background wailing in despair. "They'll never make it!"

Jack whipped out his slide ruler and made a few hasty calculations. Dark eyes were hard with steely determination as he activated the radio.

"Carter, you forgot to factor in the gravitational pull from all of the Jovian satellites. I believe you'll find that we can actually use Jupiter to shoot ourselves out to Saturn, and then use that planet to slingshot ourselves back to Earth."

"Wait, wait! I don't think so; I make it that you'll end up on course to the Oort Cloud!" Carter said, flustered. Daniel could still be heard screaming in the background.

"You're off by a decimal place; do the math again, Carter. General Hammond, if you're there, slap Daniel; he's hysterical."

"We've been slapping him, Jack." Hammond drawled anxiously. "He just can't deal with losing you."

"Alright, bring him to the radio."

The wailing grew louder.

"Daniel? Daniel!"

"Ja'k?" he sobbed.

"Yes, it's me, Daniel."

"Ja'k, ohmygodjakyou'renotgonnamakeit&Idon'tknowwhatI'mgonnado…." The words spiraled up into another wail.

"DANIEL!"

Silence.

"Daniel, I need you to do something for me. I need you to be strong and I need you to contact the Tollan and the Tok'ra; see if they have any ships in the area."

"Tollan, Tok'ra…yes…I can do that."

"Good, and Daniel? Don't let that Anise walk all over you."

"Okay, Jack," Daniel said, obviously taking strength from Jack's words. If Jack believed in him, he could believe in himself!

There was a few seconds of silence before General Hammond spoke up. "Thanks, Jack," he said with admiration. "He's been out of control since you left. No one can handle him as well as you can!"

"Colonel?" Carter interrupted. "I think I have some new numbers for you. You were right all along."

"No need, Carter. I've already finished the burn and it looks like…yes! We're on course now, directly back to Earth."

"That's fantastic, sir! I don't know how you do it!"

"It's just basic math and science, Carter. I'll show you a few short–cuts when we get home."

"Thank you, sir!"

"Smoke us a kipper; we'll be back by morning!"

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