Title: Fever Season
Author: Cathy
Author Page: Cathy
Category: Gen
Rating: G
Spoilers: mild spoiler for season 3 episode Foothold and spoiler for Crystal Skull
Season: post season 3 episodes Foothold and Crystal Skull
warnings: none
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors. This story may not be posted anywhere without the consent of the authors.

Fever Season

"Look at this. These people are insane!"

"I...uh...don't think it's that bad, Jack."

"Not that bad? Daniel, have you taken a look around you since we stepped out of the gate?"

"Um, sir. I have to agree with Daniel, it's really sort of what I was expecting, after all it is..."

"Ow!"

"Hey, watch it! Did you see that, Carter? Well, did you? Siler just about killed Daniel by running him down. And you're telling me things are normal around here?"

"He probably just didn't see him, sir."

"It's okay, Jack. I mean, he was carrying a pretty big box. And, he..."

"It's not okay. And that's why we're getting out of here as fast as we can. I tell you, people are going nuts. Look at the way everyone keeps rushing past us. It's like we're invisible. Like that time we all got zapped by that Crystal Skull." Jack screeched to a halt. "Hey, you don't think that's it do you? That we're invisible? TEAL'C CAN YOU STILL SEE ME?"

"I can see you fine, O'Neill. And even if I could not raising your tone would not help me to see you any clearer."

"Then why does everybody keep looking right through us? We've only been gone a week, just to do a little scouting out on P2X-595, not like the other side of the universe or anything."

"Uh, technically sir..."

"Fine, so it is the other side of the universe. But one week! Seven lousy days. When we left things were fine, normal, average. Now look at it. It's like they've all been infected by the same nutso disease while we were gone."

"Jack, you don't really think that this is all because of some strange virus do you?"

"Perhaps you suspect another Linvrus mine, O'Neill?"

"Teal'c, I think the Colonel is forgetting that there's really a much simpler explanation. The fact is..."

"Simple? Carter how is simple gonna explain what just happened to us in the infirmary? Did you even see the way Fraiser was muttering about not having enough time? She kept going on about, 'Two days left. Only two days left.' Like she was counting down a ticking time bomb or something. And, she barely even gave Daniel's black eye a glance. Just patted him on the head, and said to take two aspirins and call her in the morning. Does that sound like our doc to you? Using that kind of cliché? I don't think so!" He dodged to the side as yet another SGC member nearly ran right through him, "I'm basically going with pod person right about now. Or..." He snapped his fingers, "maybe those body stealin' soldiers are back again."

He made hurry up motions to his team as he tried to march them down the hall and into the elevator."And, I don't think I've ever come out of a post mission exam without at least somebody sticking a needle into my butt. This time though...nada, zip, nothin'. Even Nurse Clark didn't make a feint at me. Merely shook her head at me and said, 'Two more for the naughty and two more for the nice list!'" Jack jabbed a finger at the door close button. "Now somebody tell met that's normal!"

Silence met his challenge.

"See! Something is definitely rotten in Denmark, alright?"

"But we are not in Denmark O'Neill we are in the SGC."

"Uh, Teal'c, I think Jack was making a reference to a story called Haml...what did you say?"

"Hey, don't look so surprised, I read!"

"But..."

"You know if you're not careful Daniel, your face may just freeze in that position. What? You thought all those shelves were just for comic books?"

The steel doors of the elevator slowly closed.

"Not to say the Marvel Golden Age edition of Hamlet isn't a classic, but didn't anyone besides me see the gate room when we stepped out? Honestly, giving serious consideration to the idea that we've been invaded."

"It sort of did give us a hint on what to expect, Jack."

"Expecting something like oh, maybe we'd stepped through to an alternate universe...a badly dressed clashing colors one?"

Daniel adjusted his glasses which had slid down his nose what with all the jostling, "I guess the general greeting us in that suit was a bit...

"Shocking. Bizarre. Insane."

"...unusual."

"I don't know, sir, up until seeing him, the red and green lights were kind of working for me."

"Don't tell me that seeing all those shiny bulbs flashing on and off after coming through the wormhole didn't have you reaching for your sidearm for just one teeny tiny instant, Carter."

"Well..."

"Just a teeny tiny one?"

"Um..."

"Ah, ha!"

"I thought the greeting was nice. Much better than having guns in our faces. Although, the way it strobed on and off was kind of dizzying."

"You would, Daniel. You *like* weird stuff. Or need I remind you about chicken flavored lizards?"

"I myself found it most disturbing, Daniel Jackson."

"Actually Teal'c some cultures are much more extreme in their gestures. Say, the Babylonian's for instance they..."

"La, la, la. See me so not listening to this part of the conversation!"

"Truthfully, sir, as far as I can remember, I think things were pretty much the same last time. Although, the Happy Holidays glowing banner across the gate room wall does seem new this year, but I still think everyone was acting pretty much the same way."

"What like Apophis' pyramid ship was about to land on the mountain--again!"

"It *is* only Christmas, sir."

"You see the chaos your way and I see it mine."

Jack hustled them out of the elevator and toward the exiting guard post with impatient hands. "Now move it kids, before someone catches up and tries to force us to wrap things. Or worse start delivering packages to P3X-499 or wherever the heck all those boxes behind the briefing room table were supposed to go."

"Happy Holiday's, sir!" The guard greeted them.

"Right. Sure."

"Is everything alright, colonel?"

"Yeah, no problems, great. Is there anyone following us? Can you see anything on those monitors?  Never mind. Sign your name faster, Daniel. Carter, just shove the ID card in your pocket you don't have time to put it away. Move. Move."

"It's just the colonel's a little anxious to avoid admitting the holidays are quite as close as they..."

"Car-ter! Ex-nay on the explaining-ay before he tries to get us to volunteer for something. Here Teal'c grab Daniel he's writing a novel there and let's go!"

"What, Jack, I wasn't done. I...Teal'c...I'm...? Fine. Goodbye Corporal Manfrey. Merry Christmas!" Daniel called as he was dragged away by the arm.

"Merry Christmas." The guard called after them half laughing as he watched the colonel hustle his team out into the snowy night.